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A Whinge about amount of Child Support my husband pays

My husband and his ex from 10 years ago were on civil speaking terms until we asked her if we could make a private agreement outside of CSA.

Well, she no longer wants to be civil now as she wants what she is entitled to through CSA and is getting her claws out. We can honestly not afford what CSA requires us to pay and when we first asked her she was all for it then apparently she called CSA and they advised her not to go for it and that CSA are the way to go. We are trying to keep rational to keep her on side to be able to pay an agreed amount, but money is an evil thing and it looks like we will be looking for second jobs (well not my husband!)

What really makes me angry is that we have just made contact with them as we found them on Face Book and everything had been fine, but now 'we hardly see the child at all' and we are 'scum bags'! Well hello, we live interstate and my husband has a job that works ridiculous hours and we are NOT scum bags.

Money hungry women make me angry and because we have now seen this other side to her it makes us want to say have your money and have a good life and that this is the last time you will hear from us.

But that is too rash and we need to calm down becasue it is all about the children…..isn't it?
I am sorry to hear the way you are feeling and it definately must be frustrating.  My ex and I went through a nasty court battle for 2 years.  During some of this time we did 50/50 and I had to pay him child support while he sat at home collecting the single pension etc.  It just made me mad the fact we had equal time but I still had to pay him.  Now that the children live with me adn he is supposed to have them every 2nd weekend but has not seen the children since Oct last year.  I dont get any child support at all and never have and probably never will but yet he can afford to drive around in nice cars and have large tvs etc   Don't worry the truth always comes out in the end and the children will know who does what eventually.  There is no fair system when it comes to child support but I just wanted to let you know that us women suffer some times too.   I hope things will settle for you soon.
 
mumof4 said
Don't worry the truth always comes out in the end and the children will know who does what eventually. There is no fair system when it comes to child support but I just wanted to let you know that us women suffer some times too.
I'm sorry but I have to disagree with these. The truth coming out is perhaps something to worry about and something that I think should be considered with great thought about the impact it may have on the child or children. For example, a parent may have made false allegations of abuse, as often happens, in an attempt to discredit the other parent along the path to resolving care. Perhaps after the fact, things turn out to be settled amiably. Would the child knowing the truth about the false allegations, of which they are unaware, be something to not worry about? Personally I think that perhaps letting bygones be bygones might in this scenario be the better situation.

Their is what I consider to be a fair system, it is the system that has been adopted in my situation and that is to elect to end the CS assessment and work the CS out between ourselves.

Last edit: by MikeT

I am always a bit torn about the child support my partner pays. They split because he wasn't ready to have kids… but being the man in that situation he had that choice made for him. I am very happy to investigate the male contraceptive for my boys when they get older (as well as other precautions), so they can make the decision to be fathers (not just paying sperm donors). Still, you want the child to be well looked after as it is not their fault they were brought into this situation. I wish people thought more about making/building  families (whatever their shape).
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