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When Grandma Goes To Court

A Mississippi Gran and a local court hearing of interest. Who said Shared parenting wasn't possible!

When Grandma Goes To Court

Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?'

She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'

She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.'

The defense attorney nearly died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, 'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.'

What is done for you, let it be done, what you must do, be sure you do it, as the wise person does today that what the fool will do in three days - Buddha
I love that one - argues the point for NOT practising law in your home town for all the ruralites.

When you are swimming down a creek and an eel bites your cheek, that's a Moray.
Perhaps also as good an argument for not practising a lot more than law in your home town. :)
I am wondering whether we should include some of the offbeat humour or knock downs we have witnessed in the Courts.

With Waddy saying "If Napoleon had won, I could easily divide the week in half".

(He was referring to Napoleon's intention of introducing a 10 day week into Europe)

The better one was being involved with a case where the Mother's solicitor asked a 'no no' question (never ask if the answer can jeapordise your case).

In very derisive manner asking the Report writer during Cross Examination.

"And what are your opinions on the Fathers proposals for shared equal time care?"

Only to get a very long response - that detailed how it would really work in this case and why it would be good for the child.

Of course having invited the views of the Family Report writer, he had little opportunity of shutting her up.

(The end result was a 45/55 time split which in hindsight has turned out to be very practical for the child.)

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