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Court / Solicitor JOKES

A Rice & Asplund funny!

An applicant's barrister argues Rice & Asplund to abort trial. Oh, and all previous Final Orders have been consent orders, so this will be the 1st trial.

For me - Shared Parenting is a Reality - Maybe it can be for you too!

Lawyer's Genie

A man walking along the beach found a bottle. When he rubbed it, lo and behold, a genie appeared.

"I will grant you three wishes," announced the genie. "But there is one condition. I am a lawyer's genie. That means that for every wish you make, every lawyer in the world gets the wish as well - only double."

The man thought about this for a while. "For my first wish, I would like ten million dollars," he announced.

Instantly the genie gave him a Swiss bank account number and assured the man that $10,000,000 had been deposited. "But every lawyer in the world has just received $20,000,000," the genie said.

"I've always wanted a Ferrari," the man said. "That's my second wish."

Instantly a Ferrari appeared. "But every lawyer in the world has just received two Ferraris," the genie said. "And what is your last wish?"

"Well," said the man, "I've always wanted to donate a kidney…"

Think about it and I'm not a lawyer.
This is a very old one.

Q. Why did the Family Court filing clerk drop a new application into the wrong file?

A. He felt hard done by because the Judges got all the chances to f-k someone.

This one comes from a book I have to dig out of storage.

The local town drunk of a small town was wandering about as usual when the local police decided to have a clean up the town blitz and score some brownie points with the town officials.

He had been charged with drunk and disorderly before, but very rarely. At this time three QC's were holidaying at the seaside town, and decided to pop into the local court and have a look. They discovered the drunk was one of just a couple of the days hearings. Let us help this undefended fellow they agreed together.

When the Magistrate opened the Court to his surprise, three persons sat patiently waiting. "And is there any lawyer for the defendant", asked the Magistrate?

"Yes, and I am aaaa QC for the defendant, and my two co-lawyers are bbbb QC, and cccc QC also for the defendant."

To which the Magistrate responded, "Case dismissed."
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