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Sons ex trying to take grandparents time with grandson.

My husband and i have had at least one night a week with our grandson since birth sometimes more , my son and ex split when grandson was two years old since that time we have maintained this time and when sons ex was working and moved in her new boyfriend she seemed disinterested in having there child so I helped my son with grandson 5/6 days and nights week until ex informed us she was now having him as she was giving up work because of this  my son and myself went to mediation the outcome was that sons ex did not go to mediation but she signed an agreement between ourselves saying that she had 3 days week and my son had 4 days week this was done so i could have the extra day from my son so (she had 3 days a week my son 3 days a week grandparents 1 day a week )This worked out really well until the law changed last July and my sons ex realised if she had one extra night she could get more family tax benefit.

Because of this arguments started as she tried to exclude us the grandparents and adventively my son got a phone call saying her solicitor wanted him to go to mediation but they told him grandparents where not aloud to be included in this mediation and that the mediation would be done via phone line, so i helped my son get a legal aid solicitor as he wanted us to be included in this mediation his solicitor informed me that my son was not aloud to even mention grandparents and although my son wanted the original agreement to stay his solicitor seemed to Perseid him to give the extra day to his ex and she ended up getting her way My son was given 4 days one week and 3 days following week so they get 50% and excluded the grandparents altogether it meant that we had one day a fortnight now. I felt the way the mediation and solicitor acted trying to exclude grandparents was disgusting and advised my sons solicitor of this. My son was told he would have to sign this agreement when the ex solicitor would send it to him shortly, This did not arrive and gave my husband and myself time to go to family mediation but my sons ex refused to go and we have been issued with certificate to take her to court.

We first decided to get our solicitor ( not legal aid )to write her a letter as we wanted to try and work this out without the stress of court she has today received the letter but informed my son her solicitor says it is all bullst and she is going to ignore it and that my son will receive there agreement this week (seems our solicitors letter has jogged her solicitors memory about there mediation agreement)my question is because of the time my husband and myself have had with our grandson and because of the first agreement that was done between us where do we stand if we now take this to court. We only want the original one day week  back.

Hope someone can help.

Good news and bad news

I am not surprised at the attitude of the Legal Aid solicitor - it seems to be corporate policy.

Interestingy, the advice he offered was not reasonable - it is the parties to mediation who determine the issues, not their solicitor(s) though I have come across this before where a solicitor or legal Aid Mediator (a solicitor) will attempt to define the terms of the mediation. The only defence is of course prior knowledge and awareness. It is always wise to trust your solicitor as long as you know what he/she is talking about and you have done your own research.

Given the circumstances you have described, you may be successfull in recovering the extra night a fortnight, but it is equally likely the court would consider that at a night a fortnight your grandson is already spending regular time with you and any extra would be for you to negotiate with your son.

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I realise this is a post from a few months back and obviously oneadadc would know far more information than myself in relation to the Courts/Laws etc etc so I am only offering what I was told about the children's grandparents. (I'm learning so much from this site it's unbelievable so thanks posters and finding more and more that what I have been told in the past is not always the case)

When we i.e. my ex and I were in the middle of proceedings for children's matters at one stage I was asked by both my lawyer and the ICL if there were any other people (not including their father and myself) that the children share close bonds with.  I said yes, they are very close to my parents and have shared a close relationship with them since birth.  Anyway, due to the previous questions during the conciliation conference I asked if anything about time with the children's grandparents should be included into the orders.  I was told that it didn't need to be as I had been facilitating the relation for the children with their grandparents during that time that I have the children in my care.

Just recently while my mother was finding out some legal advice on another matter she mentioned as a point of interest contact time with grandparents and whether she and my father could legally get some fixed arrangements in place for them to spend time with the children.  She was told something similar to what I had been told at the conciliation conference.  That any kind of legal action would be a waste of time and money as it would be highly unlikely for any Court to grant contact orders to include the grandparents while I continued to facilitate the relationship. 

"Never, "for the sake of peace and quiet," deny your own experience or convictions". Dag Hammarskjold
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