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Rights if grandparents are unstable

I think the Grandparents are unstable. Do I have the right to say i want them to have supervised visits only? info required for worried mum before attending parenting plan.

I am about to attend my parenting plan appointment.

 i am a mum to a gorgeous 7 month old.

his paternal grandparents are mentally not stable. Have been harassing myself and my family from when i was pregnant and have made it clear that they are not willing to put my sons health needs first.

At birth he was diagnosed with a heart murmur, my husband ( at the time) told them, her, she was able to visit as long as she changed her clothes before she came over as they are constant smokers. ( as we were told by the health nurse) she abused her son saying she was not prepared to do that and that if we continued to 'withhold' her grandson from her he woud be out of the will.

My questions are..

Do i have the rightto say i dont want them near my son?

or

Do i have the right to say i want them to have supervised visits only?
troubled,

I would say, No and No to both your questions

Grandparents have a right to see and spend time with their Grandchildren!

If you pursue this in the Family court, there would probably be an order preventing smoking around your Child, thats about it.

troubled said
that if we continued to 'withhold' her grandson from her he woud be out of the will
This is a very strong statement that illustrates the concerns the court often influences how the interests of a child are affected.

The behaviour of the grandparents in the home of the child is rarely a matter for the court. This is a reasonable behaviour situation. An order about smoking in the presence of the child is the right of the child.

A grand parent proposing to use a possible inheritance for the next 17 years may be a bit enduring. What other conditions apply? Their right to smoke is not to be at the expense of others, especially the child(ren). The support of your partner suggests his perplexion.

Such matters are resolvable between those whom have the best interests of the child at heart. Talk about it. Court proceedings will only deplete the treasured inheritance. Lawyers at $7,000 per day (plus GST) and a (compulsory solicitor at $4,000 per day will siphon quantams of inheritances and more on an ongoing basis from those whom do not communicate in the best interests of the children. The extent of the animosity that is caused during proceedings at the court are not welcome in one's life. The barristerseven guide the client from the court after lightening pockets.

This site is intended for those with matters before the courts. Your matter should be resolvable.

What is done for you, let it be done, what you must do, be sure you do it, as the wise person does today that what the fool will do in three days - Buddha
It sounds like your ex agrees with you about the smoking near the baby issue. The grandparents' reaction to his concerns is a worry but I can't imagine they'll take it any better from you, as the ex-in-law.

Have you or your ex tried providing them some written information about the risks of smoke exposure to a baby with the condition yours has? Some smokers are pretty defensive as a result of being treated like lepers in many situations. They might think you're just overreacting. Court orders barring them from smoking would never be as effective long-term as convincing them voluntarily not to expose the baby to smoke.
Troubled

I understand your concerns and your predicament.  However, it is not about Grandparents or Parents rights, it is about the child's rights, the best interests of the child.

You mention the Grandparents are unstable.  Depends on your interpretation of unstable.  All children have a right of contact with their grandparents unless there is evidence of risk to the child.

As you have a pending parenting plan appointment it would be helpful to discuss the concerns of all parties to come to some arrangement where everyone's needs are met to avoid having the matter go to court.

I hope it works out for you.

First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.  M K Gandhi

Making a difficult situation more complex

troubled said
I am about to attend my parenting plan appointment.

 i am a mum to a gorgeous 7 month old.

his paternal grandparents are mentally not stable. Have been harassing myself and my family from when i was pregnant and have made it clear that they are not willing to put my sons health needs first.

At birth he was diagnosed with a heart murmur, my husband ( at the time) told them, her, she was able to visit as long as she changed her clothes before she came over as they are constant smokers. ( as we were told by the health nurse) she abused her son saying she was not prepared to do that and that if we continued to 'withhold' her grandson from her he woud be out of the will.

My questions are..

Do i have the rightto say i dont want them near my son?

or

Do i have the right to say i want them to have supervised visits only?
 

I would assume that you "Parenting Plan" appointment involves mediation with you husband(ex) - it seem to me that it would be an extremely important issue to discuss with him. If he remains of the same opinion that the grandmother should change into fresh clothes before visiting their grandchild - then there is absolutely no problem insisting - it seems likely to me that they/she are/is heavy smokers and stink of tobacco smoke. Given a legitimate health concern it is a reasonable request.

Beyond that it it becomes a lot more complex. while you certainly can ask that the paternal grandparents spend no time with your child or it is supervised, too strong a postion is likely to inflame an already emotinal situation.

I would approach it by raising the topic with the support staff who are helping ypu prepare the Parenting Plan and also find out where the child's father stands on the issue. The reality is that the child will be spending unsupervised time with the father and it would be much better if you and he agreed that his original proposal stands - I am pretty sure the support staff would support a resonable position given your health concerns.

As for the grandparents insisting it is their right to dress however they see fit - if the matter went to court, and you had medical evidence to back your position you may succeed - note "MAY Succceed"

But the cost would probably be a much more difficult future relationship - yes ongoing parenting is a relationship - with the childs father.

Speaking of medical evidence -I would visit the child's specialist and ask for a letter specifically addressing the smoking issue - I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if you get one. Send a copy to the Grandparents and see what their reaction is.

If it remains an ongoing issue - seek to include the grandparents in one of the mediation sessions.

I hope for all concerned and particularly for your child that you can all find a peaceful solution to the situation. I wish you and your child all the best.

For me - Shared Parenting is a Reality - Maybe it can be for you too!
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