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really stressed over continuing court proceedings

Hi All,

My situation is quite similar to others on here….I can't believe that there could be so many cases out there like mine.

My Adoptive mother & I have had a strange relationship (i think u would call it co-dependent) over the years.  I was taken off her at 10 yrs due to abuse.  custody was granted to my father & step-mother.

I married 4 years ago & have 2 step-sons of which we have shared care (50/50).  I then became pregnant.  My mother started her controlling & abusive behaviour & when I was 20 weeks, I was advised by my midwife & my GP to cut contact with her.  She continued to send nasty e-mails & when I was 30 weeks I went into pre-term labour.

When I finally had my baby, she somehow found out & came to the hospital & demanded to be let in to see me.  Luckily my husband had the forethought that this would happen & they moved my room & made me 'Mrs Jones' on the board.  I had a very traumatic birth & was in acute care for 2 days.

She continued with the demanding behaviour with the hospital, and even called the midwife & told them that I was a bad mother & my daughter was 'in danger'.

We changed my mobile number & our home number, so the abuse stopped…..until, she actually started turning up on the doorstep when my husbands car wasn't home.  I would let her see my daughter.

She confronted my husband one day & they disagreed, so she stated 'you'll get yours'…..the next week I was served with court papers.  My husbands grandmother was also dying at the time…so not great timing!

We are still in court, 2 years later, as she has been granted supervised access, one day a month.  She has had 8 visits & now she is asking for unsupervised access.

She will not speak to me, & my daughter is 3 years old.  We now have to go to court again & it will go to trial.  I have been diagnosed with PTSD.  How could this possibly be in the 'best interests of the child?'

How do I know that she will not harm my baby?
This is a difficult one and obviously a lot more to it then you can put in the post.

All I can suggest is that you decide what is going to be the best for the child in the end and stick with it. Make sure all of the events are brought to the attention of the court and how they have and are likely to effect you and the child. In the end the court will have to weigh up whether some form of contact with the grand mother, regardless of her personality, is going to be better for the child than none at all. Then they will need to decide what form of contact that should take. If you think supervised contact is necessary then you need to make it clear why, in the context of how it will effect the child.

I take it final orders have not been made yet?

"When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside can not hurt you"

Executive of SRL-Resources
No, no final orders have been made, only interim.  I guess this will happen when we go to Trial? :(  I can't take much more of this…….
The issues you raise must be brought up in the hearing and application as to how they will effect the development and welfare of the child and how that is the reason you want the orders you seek.
Although it will be taken into some consideration how this process is affecting you, the court will ultimately decide on what is best for the child so it is important to establish how the terms you ask for are good for the child and how the other parties orders are not, in a way that is quite focused on the child.

"When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside can not hurt you"

Executive of SRL-Resources
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