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Worried for safety of 7 year old girl

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Anger issues with her older 10 year old brother

So after 3 1/2 years of little communication between the childrens mother and their father we have come to a place where we need to make some decisions. To date there are no orders in place just an initial mediation and some attempted mediations since. Due to a lack of funds after constant knockbacks on subsequent mediations we have not gone to court. I have suggested to my partner we really need to, hopefully that will happen in the next little while. The last two fortnights we have had disturbing stories from the children (well years really of disturbing things) but some perhaps that warrant us being a little more proactive in what we should do. The children spend one week of every holiday with us and every 2nd weekend. The 10 yo boy is medicated on Ritalin while at Mothers house but she does not send that medication to us. We have had occupational therapists observe the 10yo and the diagnosis of the paediatrician Mother took him too and what they said do not marry. We do not have permission to go to a doctor of our own.

7yo daughter was telling us about the times her 10yo brother "hits" her, there have been many stories over the years however this time she told us that she was scared he was going to kill her. She then went on to tell us that he had taken a sharp kitchen  knife and threatened to "stab" her. He readily admitted it but in the way he does he tried to downplay it and gave us a story that it was a long time ago and on the spot made up a time of "4 months ago" as he felt that was a long time ago and would mean we didn't need to discuss it. Previously we had heard stories of him threatening his mother with a knife.

I have reported in august to DOCS and then tonight both serious events with the knife and we have previously documented with photos bruises on the daughter

Mother refuses all communication with Dad … only allowing SMS on her terms .. recently when Dad's sister died she did allow one email. She refuses to talk on phone to Dad and makes all phone needs go through 10yo son. We had a communication book but the one time I wrote in it regarding my care of her son with severe gastro … she said because I had written she will never allow that form of communication again. If she has felt that my Partner has turned up on a time she didn't think it was she has called police on him.

We have very little money at the moment, my partner is in a new job (2 months) and we have to pay for all his travelling expenses up front. Our credit limits were not high enough to cover a lot of this so we are scrambling till the expenses come thru up to 8 weeks after we have paid for them. I am not working at the moment as I have depressed teens and they need a lot of time . and ferrying to counsellors etc (their dad rarely connects with them and does not pay CSA) ..

With no orders in place if we are concerned for 7 yo safety (when questioned both children said sometimes mum does something about the abuse sometimes not) if we decided to keep daughter till we can sort out the safety question … where do we stand. Happy for her to go to school here we live about an hour and  half from her mother. Mother never does any of the transport and even sold her car and got her mother to buy a 2nd car so if we got to court orders she would not be ordered to do any transport (and told the children this) … I do not want to split the children but 10yo son has very immediate anger issue problems and no control however at our house he never hurts her … he always hates time out and behaves pretty good considering his behaviour elsewhere.

We have contacted the childrens school to talk over some issues and 6 weeks later still no response other than one from the principal saying he is overseas and can't help us right now and deputy has not returned calls. There was some inappropriate touching from 10 yo when he was 9 last year and we managed to speak to the school about our concerns but as far as we are aware neither child has been plugged in to school counsellor even tho 10yo boy has been on ritalin 4 years while at that school

Partner will be travelling most of this week so where do we stand in 7yo girl being in our home and me being primary care giver till partner gets home. she is very welcome here and said she only feels safe when here as she knows both I and her father will protect her .. she adores her mother very much but when asked if she feels safe ever at home she said no.

Such hard questions any advice would be greatfully received …

Regards Auslady
If there are no orders in place, then why is oyur partner prevented from taking his own child to a doctor? Is there a legal document preventing this?

Also, if there are no orders in place, then there is nothing to stop you from having contact with the school. If the school is being tardy in their response, then take it up with a higher authority, like a regional office.

If you are concerned about the daughter's safety, then you need to make your decisions in that light. Good luck.
If there is no orders in place you can take your child to the doctor and request all neccessary medication. School can not refuse you from discussions about child progress, events and so on. You are allowed to attend school assemblies, concerts etc your child participates in unless you are served with an AVO which prevets you from doing this. If you are concerned about the child safety you should contact child protection line, but from my own experience it wont go anywhere.
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