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The battle seems too hard

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I am a father of a 4 year old daughter. I had given up hope around 3 and a half years ago after contravention orders failed 3 times and the judge asked me to come back once again all in the space of 2 months. I cracked and gave up the fight. However I have since easter this year been fighting again.

Getting some visits through a legal aid mediation. However the mother has now moved forther down into sydney and wants to change center for pickup and drop off. The lady that has my child I was with for 3 weeks. She called my mother and said she was pregnant draged me to court making me sighn a letter of paternity. Now she is saying there is anouther man that thinks she is the father.

I have a solicitor he seems like a dill. Unable to make decisions and leaving me to make all the decissions where I do not know what I can ask for or demand. This lady is all about her and if she is not involved then it is not good enough. She wants me but I do not want someone of her nature in my life. I love my quiet happy life at home with the lady I care for.

I have a lot more to say and I have a lot more issues that I am willing to share and hope that people can give me some help on these issues as they have got to me and I had a mental brak down just last night.

I am doing 2 parenting courses to better learn of my daughters growing up since I never get to see her. I also am doing a course that is teaching me to deal with my ex partner in a more relaxed manner.

I hate that every organisation I talk to about my daughter complaining about my ex's boyfriend always throws off to docs. Where docs to me does not help. I went through it 4 years ago all I got out of them was my daughter put into 5 days a week day care due to the mothers parenting skills being poor.

I have a internet phone ##**** I will set up the other phone thing later.

Well I'm **** But I prefer L*** my middle name. Hi to all I hope I learn a lot in here and can contribute a lot also.

Edit by Monti
Ok theres a couple of things you could tell us right off that would be helpful.

1. Are you still in contact with your child regulary?

2. what you mean by the child was in care, docs care or just childcare/preschool as that is irrealivant.

3. Have you sought any help or are willing to seek help for your break down issues. It seems pretty clear youve been through the mill and you love your child.

4. I would suggest that you do not have to change the centre for drop off.

5. What are you current care arrangements?

6. Why did you go to court over contraventions, do you know why you lost?

YOu sound like you have worries about abuse for your child, or something similar, these are pretty sensitve issues, there are private areas where you can talk about that kind of stuff.

OK l*** you dont have to tell us all your names, remmember people can find the site in the same way you found it, I would suggest removing them so you can have privacy.

And mate welcome.

Edit by Monti: removed name.


Han Solo routine "We're all fine here, thanks. How are you?" *weapons fire* "It was a boring conversation anyway!"
Hi, yes I have been seeing my daughter weekly, but itshould be fortnightly only, for the last 2 months, as this was agreed on at mediation; that if my ex misses visits, she is to make them up the week around. As for the care, it is a day care centre that is funded by the government through docs, ( I think ) I know my ex would not pay for such a thing.

I have been on everyone's back about all these problems; Iknow a few people, who all have children, that all agree withwhat my daughter is going through is wrong. I am told by my daughter that she has 2 daddys, me and the yucky daddy that lives at the house sometimes. This and the other 2 males that frequent the house.

I have oringinal orders and I have mediation orders, that are all broken in every single possable way by my ex. I have bent over backward to change to her needs, one minute it is ok to bring the lady I care for, the next it is not. Now I am told I will not get to see my girl on fathersday, that the mother is ging to send me a pressent and a card.

I am also told that unless I move my visits to the further location, I will not get them. I fear now missing the visits and being stuburn is only going to be detremental to our relationship. As well as the recent trips, driving to sydney, have made the lady I care for unwell. I would love to seek help for guidance through this all.

I may have some depression over this, but I feel that overall, I am ok. My ability to deal with all of this court and a solicitor, who seems to be as smart as me, is not good and I would love the help. I need to read through the site more, to find other areas to talk about my daughter's poor living standards, as I do feel what she is going through is wrong. I have a lot of pics and document chats with the mother, that show she is not looked after well. I have a fathers course I must attend and food to cook. Thankyou for your reply. I guess you mean edit my profile to take away my real name.

Have made some minor changes to try and understand your post better. If the changes have changed the meaningin any way of what you wanted to say, you can whisper me.

Neglect allegations are the hardest thing to prove, if you have concerns for your childs welfare there has to be someone way of confirming them or not. Plenty of people will tell you that you cant win neglet cases, most of the time they are right you need really solid evidance of neglect like docs interventions and pictures of the child living in filth.

She has no right to break the orders for fathers day without reasonable excuse, I hope she wrote down her plans for breaking the orders on her own whim, That is useful evidance. That the child appears to be telling you some of her worries abuot her home life, at four you have to be careful, children will use words like crazy and yukky lke they are going out of fashion, using words like discusting or decribing people as something is age appropriate, although it might be a sign of her true feelings . My step son who is 4 told us that his mother was crazy for saying things about his daddy, to which we had to tell him that his mother was not crazy but she might be mixed up.  I know that he said that cause his mum has been in his ear "again" about court.

Its funny about your solictor, if you really feel they are an idiot you can change representation or can report any poor conduct to the governing body. If your solicotor has no interest in your case is just ripping you of money you should think about some other options. I also feel my own soli is a bit of a ditz and has failed in their representation of us at our interims, I havent changed them as they have made ground on our case in some places.

Many day care centres are funded by the government and have docs regulating them. Its a fact that DOCS do the accreditation for day care, and preschools in nswive never heard of a preschool for neglected kids before or being forced into preschool by docs although I could be wrong .

I would get your solictor to write her a letter about fathers day. Contact is not negociable for this day. Denying contact will not go in her favour.

I personally would not move the visits, she is obliged to follow the orders until the courts say she doesnt.

Last edit: by monster


Han Solo routine "We're all fine here, thanks. How are you?" *weapons fire* "It was a boring conversation anyway!"
Hey kangawolsfox welcome to the portal,

One thing that is important is to find out what is reliable information and what is just urban myth information.

I know this is very emotional for you right now and it may all be very confusing as to what your rights are but for anyone to help concise information about Parenting Plan or Court Orders such as Orders by Consent or such need to be known. If there was no formal arrangement and the contact was just agreed to through mediation with no documentation then that needs to be expressed.

The style of contact that you have also will make a difference to responses, is it overnight contact, daytime contact or supervised contact.

Knowing the original court orders will help so if you can let people know the time schedule being careful not to put names or any other identifying markers on your response for example.

" The orders say that XXX ( my daughter ) " and not your childs name. " is to see me every second weekend "

Then if you have signed the mediation agreement let us know what they stipulates in the same manner.

There is a need to deal with emotional issues separately to legal issues as emotions can cloud perspective and judgement when looking at a legal perspective.

It is also important to keep your personal detail to your self and not place them, for legal issues as well as those described especially when it comes to naming parties as it could breach laws.

There is a lot to go through much of which will be hard to be told as you will feel you have more of a right because you will reflected on it emotionally so be patient and read any responses closely.

All the best on your journey   
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