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"In the best interest of the children"

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What is in the "Children's best Interest" that everyone often hears and uses in the family law matter.

Is it only just an expression just used by the "law" and to the benefit of the legal practitioner (s), and the ICL that is appointed by the court and all of the expert report writers who focus upon the children and their best interest in the separation of families.

Is it to;

1. To gain the upper hand in tactics strategies used by legal practitioners to manipulate grieving parents who have recently separated and show to have high emotions and hatred to one another in the early break down the family structure and seeking legal assistance to destroy and attack each other, and quite often allowed to use the children as leverage to advance their case.

2.Is it used as a focus point to bring out onto the table all matrimonial assets and financial assets of hard working parents while using the children as leverage against the parents who loose their focus as what is the best interest of the child. So the legal practitioner can estimate a cost agreement relevant to his client assets and $$$$$$$.

3.Also use the children as leverage against both parents to create and build a case for legal self financial gain.

4.Use the term "In the best interest of the children" which allows children to be exposed to conflict and violence and abuse while the legal practitioner's battle it out to find a solution using methods which only flare up the anxiety and stress to children as it were in my case it was found and said they were exposed to legal medical abuse. This is often placed on the children that are dragged on in the courts process while they conduct interview after interview costing families thousands of dollars in my case $20000 plus as to satisfy and determine an out come that was inappropriate at many different levels contradicting overwritting reports. The family law and its Equal shared parenting is a flaw in most cases as it does not work with parents who remain in conflict.  The expert report writer and the ICL who often see the $$$$$$$$$ sign rather than listening to what the children consistently say in the first place as their personal experience and preference to where they would like to live, the children views are not give a second thought as what is in the "Children's best Interest" and their situation by those who should be listening in the first place regardless.

I have experienced first hand extortion tactics professional misconduct and strategies which were nothing more than manipulation of twisting of words to suit and create a case by the legal practitioner (s) who financially benefited and stole legally years of my hard work of assets for my children's future that was lost along the way while the Circus arena of hyenas (legal profession)  benefited the rewards from the grieving angry parent who lost all self respect for the other.

Children are very honest and innocent between the ages of 5 to 13, a child's opinion is one that should be developing into a personality and one that should remain innocent and pure and protected from any form of abuse and violence. There is no excuse for for a child to endure any form of pressure from a stranger (the expert report writer and the voice of an ICL who has no insight to the truth). A child that has the support of one parent it feels safe with and were able is voicing their concerns of the other parent that has not shown some or any warmth of having a loving attachment other than abuse or violence is something that I believe is easily shown in the behaviour and possible is voiced by the child in a consistent manner.

I know and I do not kid myself there is also that parent or parents who use and try to influence their children against the other. In this scenario the parent who is doing this is often easily caught out as the child can and will not be consistent with their view and recollections, as lies you need to write down to remember to be able to refer to them. In an experience that the child has encountered without doubt I believe the child will and can usually recall without being required to be coached. If I make sense in saying in this way?

Those parents who show and try to influence their children should be punished productively by early interception with intense counselling. It is no good sending parents who have gone through the system and dragged for years and then are ordered to attend a post parenting separation course at the end as this only ends up a joke and of no benefit to anyone.

The parent who is supportive and loving is most often turned against by a total stranger who is appointed the so called "expert report writer" who tries to determine the family structure and one that often label the other parent as an alienating parent, if a child has an opinion or raised concern for the other parent. What a joke, no one knows our children better than the parents themselves. I believe we should have a proactive parenting course that should be in place prior to entering any court and such a course that both parents are forced to participate together or separate both should be made accountable to resolve parent conflict. All consideration should be placed as priority one that the children remain away from all ICL representatives and expert report writers and be left in the care of the child's preferred parent until such intense parenting course is given to both parents.

The certificate is to easily obtained that allows an angry parent to enter the family court and this is the starting point of many family law flaws that allows solicitors to prey on the distraught and angry parents wanting revenge against the other partner. It does not make any sense to the parent that has worked hard to provide for his family when no consideration is given to preserve and protect the families going through these tough times of separation and their many years of hard work trying to provide for their children a better future, and financial stability and secure start to their children's young life's. Where does the children safety and welfare stand if the law does not pro actively change its current ways of dealing with conflict parents family violence and abuse upon children alike and future financial stability if it is totally wiping out the families years of savings and financial structure.

Where is it in law and the Courts obligation as a humanitarian welfare and safety to "What is in the Children best interest" that is often refereed to and constantly pointed out throughout the proceedings.

I would like to take action against corruption and misconduct of legal professional negligence within the family law. I would like to be pointed in the right direction and find a group of loyal honest solicitors to form a team to audit and filter out corruption within the family practice of law and a team that can pro actively sit down and take into consideration many aspects that are currently ignored and to have the power to change the current family law to really be "What is in the best interest of the Children".

No one to this date has attempted to alter and change and review the family law from its flaws and that would ultimately assist families in crisis and who are experiencing family violence and abuse. It still remains a focus on money money money financial gain to those who practice family law and a lot of suffering thereafter to those who have entered the arena. Some have not recovered, and will never be able to move on how sad is it that it is allowed to get to the point lives everyday are lost young and old alike… Where is the Courts focus in it's duty of care to society?

Where is it duty of care to "What is in the children best interest".
Dear St George,

I totally understand your concerns with the expression "…children's best interest…". It is an annoying expression to listen to for those who are undergoing family law in Courts.

I have expressed my concerns on this issue. Family law judges and ICLs etc often use this expression not realising that they have admitted to responsibilty to the outcome of their decisions affecting the children(s) involved.

Children, teenagers and adults who have undergoing the unfortunate expreience of missing out on a meaning relationship with either parent or love one have valid reasons (grounds) to feel disadvanteged by the family courts in the future. Class action is the key.

Many children, teenagers and adults who have suffered mental or emotional illnesses, exposure to drugs, lack of education etc are often expressing childhood concerns. Often an individual resents not having a proper childhood with either parent.

Petitions signed by many teenagers established either online or via surveys that actually credits the true feelings of such individuals being affected by decisions made in family courts is a powerful tool to bring family law changes or at least bring the issues to parliament and in the media spotlight.

Class actions by adults who have suffered as children because of family court decisions is also a good avenue to voice the concerns.

Thanks.
Dear Familylaw2000,
I thank you for your thoughts and I do agree with you, that a class action is required and well overdue. My efforts to raise my experience of Court theatrical performances by the ICL and legal practioner (s) who in my opinion are guilty in facilitating abuse upon the children and who do not act in the children best interest and should be held responsible for the ongoing abuse to our children, suffering mental or emotional depression they (family law representatives) should be accountable and arrested and charged with metal and physical abuse to a minor.

Is it or is it not a serious issue abuse to our children?

I have written to the chief Justice, FAG, SAG, OLSC, legal aid commission, bar association, law access, human rights commission, commission for children and young people, and various support groups, I have written to many MPs from different states and senators who still to this date close the doors on me. I have approached legal firms and individuals and I have not been able to get any assistance other than I was threatened to stop complaining or I could find myself locked up in a mental institution as an unstable parent.

After what my children and I have experience, I fought hard to provide safety and stability filled with love and genuine support to my children who cried and wanted to be with me. I am very competent and very aware of what I have experienced and that my children have experienced, that was nothing more than they were used and manipulated by those legal practioner (s) ICL and so called expert writer (s) who were highly paid actors choreographing and playing their part in a theatrical arena (the Court room) strategies and tactics while they were financially pocketing our hard savings and using our children as props to create a case.

In an abusive relationship were domestic violence and abuse upon children is evident and were children have openly and consistently voiced their safety and concerns of being with a parent, the current system fails to protect those children.

Every case is different and as always the children best interest should come first, there are no clinical studies to say that children living with one parent have become dysfunctional. The wellbeing of children and focus should be that they (the children) are at all times in a loving safe stable happy environment whether it is with one parent or not.

Where it goes wrong, in my opinion the focus should fall upon the parent who has the current law at their finger tips and is allowed to use false allegations and terms such as alienating and sexual abuse by their partner and other false allegations that are allowed to be thrown in the Court room without any disciplinary action or imprisonment against them. As most of the time it is the decent parent who becomes a victim along with the children as it is obvious from day one.

In a local court prior to family law court hearing, I quote a Judge in his judgment who said, Theres an implication that the present defendant, as well as her own mother, are of a mind to take violent action to recognize what they perceive to be something that upset them and take care of it. Rightly, hes afraid of that. Decent people are afraid of these things because decent people cannot resort to violence themselves, even though it may be just as easy physically for them to do it, decent people don do it. Thats why they are vulnerable, thats the only reason why theyre vulnerable.

In this how oblivious is it that I became a victim to the legal representatives who read between the lines and were able to manipulate a vulnerable parent (me). I have clear evidence and chronological events that show extortion bad advice extreme pressure and clear theft and while this is facts, the children were clearly tormented by legal medical abuse by interviews that were conducted and organized by those legals and ICL who was appointed to protect and do what is in the childrens best interest in the first place.

I have not given up and yes, I would be one of many parents who would assist where possible in class action against those corrupt practicing lawyers and firms who do not represent in good faith the law.

I am only truthful and honest to my experiences that was overwhelming corrupt and traumatizing emotionally draining and financially crippling. In my crusade to expose this and my childrens voices that cry for help and that the current family law does not assist In what is in the childrens best Interest.

I succeeded in having a Supreme Court bring a judgment against one solicitor and had another solicitor reprimanded with a slap over the wrist.
 
The law is written in a way that it is not JUSTICE the word justice is translated as JUST US.

I have no legal experience, other than common sense to what is illegal and corrupt, but still not enough to raise headlines or be able to change the law. We need a lawyer or firm that has what it takes to achieve a historical extreme change in the current family law and put forward a class action against corrupt legal practitioner (s) and firms and the current family law process and those who continue on a daily basis destroy children lives and adults alike.
 :thumbs:
I thank you.
In comment to the poll…

We do have mediation as a function of the process and even that does not always work.
In response to Stoog, Yes, I am aware of the mediation process and yes it does not work because it is not structured in a way that it can work.

It also depends on both parents attitudes and their likely hood in wanting to participate and resolve conflict.

The current mediation process is nothing more than a joke! Obtaining a certificate to allow you to file an application before the court? My experience was, it was biased and intimidating, and the mediator was not independent. She took a side and really hammered the other parent. Post separation parenting course is one that is not advanced and does not provide a focus on an individual parent and there emotional state and affect it has caused them from their separation, and their affect upon moving forward in a positive manner.

What I have experienced while attending various parent groups, all of the parents had a different story to share. Listening to those parents it strikes me that the key issues were always pointing back to the current law and its flaws of injustices.

I have stated many times no one knows our children better than the parents themselves. No Judge solicitor or ICL or expert writer is able to make or pass judgment on here say assertions and allegations.

If we had a mediation process that parents were made to attend for one month or two and that both parents attended as a couple or separately (taking into consideration the safety of an individual where family violence is evident) attended upon a professional mediator psychologist I believe a lot can be achieved if this mediation was focused on that parent and their actions as an individual. Even case studies and facts of parent conflict and the affect it has upon childrens and their long term welfare, which is currently so often spoke about. The key is early intervention, education and prevention.

If parents were able to achieve conflict resolution prior to being allowed to enter the court room, I believe the court rooms would be not required to resolve family separation and child custody matters.

We do not live in a perfect society and I do not believe in shared parenting when there is abuse and domestic violence associated with separation, and when both parents cannot resolve their differences. The children will not have a meaningful relationship with a parent they are forced to spend time with or both parents when conflict exists.

Remember the law, What is in the best interest of the Children that is so often thrown in our faces. HELLO!

Children are resilient and are able to adapt with parents separating especially when there is conflict, they are able to live happily with one parent if they feel happy and safe. Even though It will always be a blessing if both parents were reasonable towards each other and are able to agree to have a meaningful part in their childrens lives even after separation.

I applaud those parents that are able to have a peaceful and meaningful relationship with each other and their children.

I believe that if parents with conflict were given a cooling off period and in this time were provided with extensive proactive help through support groups that educate parent conflict and conflict resolutions and within the same time they are provided all times with dignity as an individual focusing in managing their emotional and anxietys, and protecting their feelings that is reflected from their individual separating circumstances and dealing and overcoming of those issues.

Children and adults are sensitive human beings we all have and will experience at some stage of our lives and through various different circumstances a situation that we find ourselves vulnerable and or emotional.
 :thumbs: So instead of being forced into a situation where we feel we are manipulated and ignored and feel we are being attacked from every angle, why do we not go back to the basics and provide and have in place some proactive intense support where there is no financial gain involved but just some honest caring assistance and guidance.
  
  St George, I have to say my experience of mediation has been both good and bad. Way back when my journey through this process started I took part in mediation run by Legal Aid Qld, which was the least competently run I have experienced. The mediator was notonly incapable of acting as a facilitatorin good faith, he made excuses for the other party's lawyer's appalling behaviour, which included her telling me "If you don't agree to what your ex wants, she'll take the children and you won't ever see them". The mediator told me this was "just lawyer talk; if you had a lawyer you'd be told that". He also prevented me from putting my case to my ex, allowing her to be sent from the room whenever I started to speak. I firmly believe that this mediator was a big contributor tothe ex's apparent belief that she had no obligation to act like an adult in settling the issues, but could instead go through a taxpayer-funded legal process, which she continued for nearly 6 years until the funding was withdrawn.

On the other hand,a year or so ago I asked Relationships Australia for mediation to try to resolve some of the on-going issues which are plaguing the parental relationship. For example, she refuses to talk to me in person or on the phone and won't pick up if I call,but if I send her a text, she frequently rings back. She won't respond to emails, she refuses to communicate plans, the list goes on. The mediator was excellent, managing her histrionics with aplomb and keeping the discussion firmly on track. As it happens,it was all to no avail, since she obviously has serious psychological problems (screaming at top note "don't look at me,you're trying to intimidate me" and making me place my chair so I couldn't see her during the mediation), but that failure was not down to the mediation process.

In short, I wouldn't say that mediation is an unqualified success story,but it can be a very useful tool if run properly. I now know more about her deteriorating mental health and I know I've done all I'm allowed to do to resolve the issues between us. That alone is worthwhile.

What it depends on is a mutual willingness to play the game. If one party is determined to be uncooperative it can't achieve its ends.
Hi Craigo, in all fairness Relationship Australia and their mediation can be very useful and I do agree it all depends on how cooperative and determined both parties are in resolving their issues, without a doubt, and it is also just as important in finding a mediator who is professional and independent.

I would like to know in reading your comments, that if it was known that the party who has a mental health condition, Why was they not provided with early intervention psychological counseling?

I am not familiar with your matter but why was they allowed to drag you for 6 years causing you and those involved ongoing grief, if this was the case?

Without getting to much involved in your circumstances it really is something we quite often hear, why is it not ever proactively managed?

Why is it overlooked and that children and adults are pushed to the extreme point where they commit suicide or inflict physical harm to themselves and children? Keeping in mind there is a large variance in human tolerance and some cannot cope as well as others, is this not facts, is this not reality, is this not a common scenario.

Why is it that we can sit here on forums writing until the cows come home and bring many and various stories forward but the LAW and those highly paid CJ AG FAG cannot for the life of them restructure the current family law system and get it right to protect all.

Why is the past and current system against males and that females seem to have more rights without having to go to some of the extremities and efforts like many males do, struggling at times to prove themselves and justify there existence.
Even though there have been in recent years some changes, there is by far not enough honest changes, looking at it as a big picture it was enough to say it was equal justice.

Shared parenting in my opinion was not really thought out? When it is only a starting point for parents to work from and it be the case lawyers required to represent their clients view and prepare and bring it before a court (WAR) creating lies and strategies to win.. And there you have it without realizing they have just created a battle zone.

How sad is that the system allows where children are involved to be the ones dodging bullets, that is really instigated by lawyers and the flaws within this family law and those who rub their hands to financial gain in bringing each client through the doors of the (Circus Arena) family law.
 
My many attempts to get assistance have failed; I have been told that it is no use fighting them. It is no use trying but there is hope if you just do as you are told and use the current system in an attempt of hope that you achieve some favorable results, I am sure you get the picture.

We need some serious changes and we need them to occur yesterday, sadly it is not the issues parent conflict, it Is not the human rights of individuals, it is not the safety of children and adults, It is all about the billion dollar industry Family law and in saying this I repeat myself JUSTICE if translated by the legal professional it translates JUST US.

Every angle is covered by the law it is used by those professional who know and read the law to be able to have in places the so called systems that only them can understand and work with that is why you so often hear Its just lawyer talk.
 :cool:
StGeorge said
Without getting to much involved in your circumstances it really is something we quite often hear, why is it not ever proactively managed?

 
Your comment sums it up succinctly: why is family separation not managed proactively? I think this is an important point, because lots of conflict could be avoided if counselling, conflict management, anger management, parenting courses etc. were mandatory and not only that, it should have implications if parties would continue to "behave badly" despite the services provided. What if it wasn't an option that one party is being difficult fueled by spite and a lawyer who only has the dollar signs in their eyes? I reckon that would be a fair and just approach to family separation and guess what, it would be much more in the interest of children.

So, why is family separation not managed proactively? Because there is no money in it. That's why.
StGeorge said
Hi Craigo, in all fairness Relationship Australia and their mediation can be very useful and I do agree it all depends on how cooperative and determined both parties are in resolving their issues, without a doubt, and it is also just as important in finding a mediator who is professional and independent.

I would like to know in reading your comments, that if it was known that the party who has a mental health condition, Why was they not provided with early intervention psychological counseling?

It wasn't known, although I must admit I was concerned. She's now on anti-depressants, but I have no real information about whether they're effective. I may have mentioned it before, but she's a social worker who is employed by Qld Health. Presumably they have some form of mental health monitoring program for their staff, which may be why she has been prescribed the pills. I'm positive she wouldn't have sought them out for herself, it wouldn't fit with her narcissism.

StGeorge said
I am not familiar with your matter but why was they allowed to drag you for 6 years causing you and those involved ongoing grief, if this was the case?

Without getting to much involved in your circumstances it really is something we quite often hear, why is it not ever proactively managed?

There were 5 separate actions brought by her in that period, all with the intent of increasing her share of the care of the children. You'd have to ask Women's Legal Aid Qld why they continued to fund her.

StGeorge said
Why is it overlooked and that children and adults are pushed to the extreme point where they commit suicide or inflict physical harm to themselves and children? Keeping in mind there is a large variance in human tolerance and some cannot cope as well as others, is this not facts, is this not reality, is this not a common scenario.

Why is it that we can sit here on forums writing until the cows come home and bring many and various stories forward but the LAW and those highly paid CJ AG FAG cannot for the life of them restructure the current family law system and get it right to protect all.

Why is the past and current system against males and that females seem to have more rights without having to go to some of the extremities and efforts like many males do, struggling at times to prove themselves and justify there existence.
Even though there have been in recent years some changes, there is by far not enough honest changes, looking at it as a big picture it was enough to say it was equal justice.

Shared parenting in my opinion was not really thought out? When it is only a starting point for parents to work from and it be the case lawyers required to represent their clients view and prepare and bring it before a court (WAR) creating lies and strategies to win.. And there you have it without realizing they have just created a battle zone.

How sad is that the system allows where children are involved to be the ones dodging bullets, that is really instigated by lawyers and the flaws within this family law and those who rub their hands to financial gain in bringing each client through the doors of the (Circus Arena) family law.

My many attempts to get assistance have failed; I have been told that it is no use fighting them. It is no use trying but there is hope if you just do as you are told and use the current system in an attempt of hope that you achieve some favorable results, I am sure you get the picture.

We need some serious changes and we need them to occur yesterday, sadly it is not the issues parent conflict, it Is not the human rights of individuals, it is not the safety of children and adults, It is all about the billion dollar industry Family law and in saying this I repeat myself JUSTICE if translated by the legal professional it translates JUST US.

Every angle is covered by the law it is used by those professional who know and read the law to be able to have in places the so called systems that only them can understand and work with that is why you so often hear Its just lawyer talk.
 :cool:
 
I couldn't agree more. The Family Law is essentially a device for separating men from their money and their children and the impacts on the lives of those men and their children is rarely of any concern. The expression "ambulance chaser" is very appropriate for many practitioners, I'd say.
We all seem to agree but WHEN and WHO is going to take on the Chief Justice of Family law and the Federal Attorney General and all other politicians that are protecting their bottomless pit of money????????? and who do not really care about you and me and "What's in the best Interest of the Children"……….. :thumbs:
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