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inappropriate behaviour and potential risk to children

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I'm a father of two who is in a process of separating. I would like advice on how I go about moving forward.

My primary concern is my kids. the wife or (ex) is involved in what i think is inappropriate as a mother. Others may think otherwise but she had been on adult sites and have been  "hooking up" with numerous men with wifes and girlfriends and kids. No strings attached, just sex.

I've recently found out and have actual evidence that she would meet with 1 or 2 a day and she has a few rolling on a weekly basis.

This concerns me with my kids. She says, what she does without the kids is not of any ones business, and is completely separate from when she is with our children.

My concern is that these men have partners too.. there are other people that are involved and will get hurt in the process. these people could turn on her should they find out that their partners had been cheating on them. who knows what people are capable of.

I confronted her with this and she had no care and she says that its not her problem.

I don't want any of my kids anywhere near this environment.
I would rather the kids with me as much possible than be exposed to what she is currently doing.

Is there anything I can do ?

Thank you in advance.
Fatheroftwo.
In reality it is nothing to do with you who your ex sleeps with and how they do it. Your ex is correct that it is none of your business. The children are not involved, its an adults right to do what they wish sexually and how they meet people is up to them.

You cannot control how people entertain themselves and if you go to court and try to go down this path you will be seen as an antagonist who is interfering in your exes life

Even claiming you have "actual evidence" can look bad

How did you get it? Was it via the kids? If not were you stalking her online? probing her friends? Those are the kinds of questions you will get from anyone connected with the legal process and any answer you give will not look good.

Your best bet is to not to fret about the things you cannot change.  Maybe your ex goes wild on days off from the kids which allow her to focus more on them when they are there?
:-)

Nothing i say should be taken as legal advice. I am not a Lawyer. If i help you it is of your own free choice to listen to what i say or not. I do not create documents for you. I do not represent you…. Purple Monkey Dishwasher
gday

if these men come into the house where your kids reside you do have "equal shared responsibility" for those kids.

it can be deemed your being a little stalkerish but what was to happen if one of your children were exposed to abuse?

its a hot potato and it would be very hard how to tackle the problem. how old are the kids?
Shared parental responsibility is NOTHING to do with stalking an ex and finding out who she is having in her house. You would never in as million years be able to prove anything adverse in a hearing based on "I think" and unless you are actually at the house when people come round, that's all you have...If you think it is a hot potato, try bringing this up in court to knock your ex and see that potato become a volcanic eruption.I bet you cant even define what "abuse" would constitute. Please share what "abuse" you think could possible happen by parents having people over at their house?

Nothing i say should be taken as legal advice. I am not a Lawyer. If i help you it is of your own free choice to listen to what i say or not. I do not create documents for you. I do not represent you…. Purple Monkey Dishwasher
wolf,

i did say it was a hot potato with valid concerns.

if the children make complaints to the father about multiple partners in the house, exposed to sexualised behavior and if her relationships turn violent the children will be exposed to DV.

its a hot potato because the father in this case even though he has valid points at this stage will not be looked at in the right light. exposing the problem via online stalking isnt  the way to do it although the concerns are there.

if the children make complaint theres a thing called mandatory reporting look up child abuse report line. if theres been valid abuse report it but do not be a malicious ex partner about it.

good luck.
AdelaideD said
wolf,

if the children make complaints to the father about multiple partners in the house, exposed to sexualised behavior and if her relationships turn violent the children will be exposed to DV.

As i said before this will be seen as coaching and obtaining information and COULD look really bad. having people enter a house does not mean kids are exposed to sexual behaviour, except in the mind of someone else not there.

What is the difference between one person who could be as you say and ten that might not? You cannot put a number on it.. therefore the argument would fail

You  also cannot even begin to claim a relationship "might"  turn violent and therefore the kids need protection. Its a really REALLY poor argument that will get you nowhere except to be labelled an antagonist.

If these behaviours are real and the kids are at risk then i am sure they will mention it to the appropriate person.

 Be very careful what you say because accusations are not a one way street. People who split from other people do not have to be celibate and there is no legal restriction on the amount of partners a human can have, or how they meet them, or where they see them.


Nothing i say should be taken as legal advice. I am not a Lawyer. If i help you it is of your own free choice to listen to what i say or not. I do not create documents for you. I do not represent you…. Purple Monkey Dishwasher
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