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Moving house with my kids

Hi all,

  Situation is thus.  I have kids living with me full time.  They see their mum on wednesday night (just for dinner, they return home to sleep) and every second weekend (Sat night sleep over) plus half school hols.  Has been this way for just over the last 3 years, although kids have lived with me for the past 6+ years.  Have final orders, via consent.

  My new fiance and I have set a date to get married and we have recently (4 months ago) had a baby daughter together.  We spend our weekends all together as a 6-pack family (fiance also has another daughter from a previous marriage).  Everyone gets along great.  Now my fiance and I would like us all to live together in the one house.  To that end we are spending $20,000 on renovations to make sure it's all suitable for us all.  My boys have been aware that this is the plan for some time now and are happy with the plan.  We would have liked to move during the school break but it wasn't possible, due to logistics (and having just had a baby).  So we are planning to make the move in the next school break after this term.

Son 1 has just started High School this year and as such, if I am going to move him - earlier the better.  Son 2 is still at primary school, but has a couple of friends at his proposed new school.

The ex is dead set against the move, as she is dead set against anything I propose.  However I really think the boys would benefit from the move and the better family centric environment it would create.

The orders don't say anything to prevent a move.  In fact they state that I can't have them reside outside the Sydney Metro area (which they won't) and that any change of address must be preceeded by 30 days notice to the mother, which I planned to adhere to.

I have received an email from the ex's solicitor today giving me the hard words against the move and stating the courts won't like it blah blah, award costs against you, blah blah…

My solicitor previously has said that according to the current orders, it's a non issue.

Can anyone out there give me their opinion/thoughts?  What are the chances of the ex being able to stop me moving in with my wife-to-be?

How far away are you moving the children from their current residence?

Is the move also likely to interfere with the mother having access?
Hi there,

We are moving 35 minutes away, as per google maps. In terms of the current orders, no changes required apart from a change of venue from where the ex picks the kids up from.

I have to pick them up from her at the conclusion of their time together, so any distance is equally shared.


From the information that you have provided it sounds like a non-issue.

The letter from the lawyer is a typical "scare 'em" letter of no real value to their client but it does look good.

Executive Member of SRL-Resources, the Family Law People on the site (Look for the Avatars).   Be mindful what you post in the public areas. 
Thanks for your reply.

My head tells me that logically, you are correct.

However, when you are scared of losing something (or someone) then your heart can sometimes hold sway and the fear prevails.

Thanks again.

falcon15500 said
…However, when you are scared of losing something (or someone) then your heart can sometimes hold sway and the fear prevails…
I'm sure the mother is just as fearful of losing something (or someone) too.

"I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realise that what you heard is not what I meant."

I understand your point, and in general I would agree - as we all know there are (at least) two sides to every story.

Here, however, there really isn't anything to fear.  I know you only have my word for it, but I have done nothing but bend over backwards to facilitate continued and consistent contact between my boys and their mum.  I always tell them that they will only ever have one mum.

Unfortunately my ex only ever seems to want to go counter to my wishes - regardless of whether or not it's in the best interest of the kids.  She has moved out of state, back into this state, not called them for weeks on end, "kidnapped" them for a week…  It's been pretty crazy.

I just wish she would settle down and try to be the best mum she can be for them.

Does the mother rent or own, is it possible for her to move closer also ?
If you have majority care then I think 35 km is not too bad as long as you offer to do more of the driving.
If you choose to move further away from the other parent then it only seems fair that you offer to do that.

Another option is if the mother regulary moves away then wait until she moves again and then plan your move.
Yes, she has (in the past) regularly moved all around including interstate.  And yes she is presently in a rental situation.

A new wrinkle today.  She has apparently lost her licence due to having poor vision and she is using that as a "reason" why we can't move.

So… Because she has been a diabetic since age 12 and has never taken proper care of her condition, resulting in diabetic retinopathy, we are not going to be allowed to move?

Ludicrous.  What about public transport?  We will both be living near train stations.  Taxi?  Her fiance can drive her?

Anyone had an experience with this kind of thing in court?

I would think 35 mins is a none issue but I moved about that and it created a lot of drama. I can't say for sure with the court but Id assume that 35 mins drive movement is common and its not like moving that distance is creating distance and problems with time for other parent.
Think about the kids here.  To see their other parent every Wednesday for dinner they have to have a return trip in excess of an hour.

Won't be long until they won't be able to do this after a day at school and with homework to complete.
I agree with April - look at it from the chn's perspective.  Maybe a solution would be an overnight on Wednesday to avoid the trip to and from in one night?  It could sweeten the deal for her.  Otherwise, I liked the strategic idea by guest on Feb 28; wait till she moves again, then move.  I would be interested to know how this worked out for you.

Moving house with kids

It totally depends that how far you are moving. Like you can build or purchase a nice granny flat nearby rather than moving far. It will cost you less and save your money for future. For more detals about granny flat designs you can visit website.
How will you feel in a few years if the children decide they wish to live with their mother & you have a 70km round trip to see them?

"I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realise that what you heard is not what I meant."

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