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I'm a dad to a now 3yo little girl. I hardly see her. My ex and i went to mediation 2yrs ago and she walked out on the last session and refused to sign the parenting orders, which gave me visitation but her sole responsibility. I then got her every Sunday for 2hrs (private negotiation).

 When her boyfriend cheated on her she stopped visitation. i get to see her every two weeks for 2 hrs at her mother's house and she calls them supervised visits (my ex is the supervisor). 6 months ago i contacted family relationship services and they contact her. We gave them what we wanted off each other concerning visitation etc; the only thing she asked was i do a parenting course on nutrition and i did (got certificate to prove it)and in the mean time they sent her information on how to write a parenting plan and then return it to them and they would send it to me to sign.

 She finally finished them last week and said she doesn't know how to use a printer to print them(is this an excuse). I rang family relationship services constantly and they said give her time. Now enough is enough. I have given her 3 more weeks. The weekend i get to see my little girl next is the weekend her boyfriend is home(he works away) and she always turns her phone off and i am not allowed to see her if her boyfriend home.

 If she doesn't finish those orders, I'm contacting FRS again and arranging mediation. i have contacted lawyers and they keep saying try work it out and it is if they wont touch it. I cant afford and more lawyers costs and it is like she is putting a price on our daughter's head. If the mediation fails what do i do, I'm confused, can i file orders with the court if she doesn't sign them what happens, i cant afford lawyers and think i earn too much for legal aid.


PS Now she is saying I have to read a parenting book (another excuse) and she is going to put on the parenting orders Visitation to be assessed at a later date - how ridiculous.
Armst, well you've likely done one thing right already, coming on here. My suggestion is for you to jpoin the SRL group (no cost) you will then get help and advice specific to your circumstances. Also, if you haven't already, keep whatever records and evidence you can. It's also very important to stay calm and not let emotions get the better of you, which you appear to be doing.
Its like my little girl doesnt know me, she calls me her other dad. When she grows up she'll end up hating me for not being there.
Armst, there is a very good chance that you will get pretty reasonable contact with your daughter. Another option could be to find the location of the nearest DIDS (Dads In Distress) and go along to some meetings.
This is tough Armst. Firstly, why does the ex insist on supervision? Was it because of your daughter's age when you separated, or does she allege some inappropriate behaviour on your part. If it was age related and you have now been seeing her regularly for 2 years I do not believe supervision  would still be necessary. Long term supervision especially by the other parent is not desirable.
You don't say (or I missed) what the new arrangement will be. That would be helpful to know. If she has agreed to a proposal that you are happy with I would be reluctant to make an application to court unless she renegs on it and does not allow visits. If she does that you should apply asap. You have probably satisfied the requirements for a certificate under s66L. You will need this to file, so remember to ask for it from the FRS.
Also, it is worth considering that Parenting Plans are not enforceable, so even if you had a signed plan and she stopped visits you would still have had to apply to the court for orders.

Visitation was every two weeks, from friday night to sunday night and two weeks later sunday all day rotating. IT was going to be all day sunday until she was ready for overnights. (the mother seems to have a issue with letting go and the child is suffering). We both agreed to this as that is what we told FRS. She just needed to check over it or add to it and return it signed to FRS. I cant remember the place where i did the mediation the first time and did not know that a certificate was handed out so thats why i have to do it again.Supervision(she is the supervisor remember, she seems to be bias about this) I dont know why she has done this, she must not want me to have a good relationship with her as she is always 20cm away from the child when i do visit as if she is intimidating her. She speaks to me when we are alone FATHER/DAUGHTER time but as soon as her mother enters the room she doesnt speak and she doesnt even smile, she just sits there in a daze. The last time i had the little one was fathers day and we went bowling together, a few days later she found out her boyfriend cheated on her, she rang me up and asked if i would take her back and we would be a family, considering we had been separated for 2 yrs and i said no, so maybe it was that. What orders do i need to file in court if it does come down to that? it will be hard in court as she doesnt want anything signed to be lodged, she thinks it would be bad for me cos i will fault on it. BUT im all for the lodgement with the court and if it is my fault, then shame on me.

Last edit: by armst

The best thing is to join the SRL section of this site. It has helped myself and my partner immensely.

As T12 says, there should be no requirement for supervision. In my experience, I have found that mothers that insist on this caveat have their own separation issues with the child. I also find that such mothers are threatened that you will, in fact, turn out to be the better parent.

Jump through all the ex's hoops and smile while you do it. At the same time, push for mediation. When the ex cannot come to an agreement (and it sounds like she's stalling) this is your signal to push for court.

If you do get some agreement out of mediation, as T12 says, it will not hold water in court. You need to lodge your plan with court to make it enforcable.

There are plenty of cases where a child under 3 has overnight visits with a father that has been deliberately estranged from their child.

Do not lose hope.

The laws have changed and things are a little easier  on fathers.

If you can show your daughter the efforts you have been through, there is no way she will do anything but admire the valiant attempt to stay in her life.

Junior Executive of SRL-Resources

Executive Member of SRL-Resources, the Family Law People on this site (Look for the Avatars). Be mindful what you post in public areas. 

We have seen similar before

Hi Armst

As you ahve been advised - join SRL-R where we will be able to provide specific guidance on your situation.

One thing I will tell you though, the other parent or their family are not considered by the courts to be suitable supervisors even where supervision is needed.

For me - Shared Parenting is a Reality - Maybe it can be for you too!
Hey armst.

When we got through this we sometimes believe all of what we hear, I believe this intensifies the emotional pain and struggle and effectively interferes with the legal aspects of things.

Two areas that mix like oil and water and emotions and legals.

This is why it's important to join SLR-R if you haven't already, you will find them in the Community section top right of the face page.

Emotions are another issue that you will need support with.

At this point you are being controlled and you need to learn what you can do about that as well, whilst still keeping your best foot forward.
Best of luck join soon.  D4E.



At the moment you are being controlled by your ex; it is no wonder she does not want any thing on paper! You really need to join the SRL section and provide ALL details to the case. The situation you find your self in is not uncommon.

It sounds like your ex has big issues that she needs to deal with. It looks like going to court, or the threat of going to court is on the cards.

Executive Member of SRL-Resources, the Family Law People on the site (Look for the Avatars).   Be mindful what you post in the public areas. 
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