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difficult ex making horrendous demands over visitation

My partner's ex is making outrageous demands around visition access to his son.  He would like to have his son stay at my mother's house (house in the suburbs, nothing unusal) and she is demanding photos of the house to determine if it is safe for the child to be there. She has even asked to come in and have a coffee to check the place out!!!!  As my partner has stated, he is the father and he will make sure the house is 'baby proof' before the son visits.  The son is 3 years old.  If we don't send photos the ex is stating that he must check into a hotel (!!) or his son cannot stay with him.

Does she have any legal recourse to demand this stuff????

Last edit: by OneRingRules


The first question is does he have orders or a signed parenting plan?

If he has orders (and there are no exclusion clauses) then the child is under his supervision during the time the child is in his care. If he has orders then the default is that he has 'responsibility' during his time. Note 'his' care because any orders probably do not specify another party. Your mother is not a paternal grandmother however if the child is with him then he is the supervising adult. The Mother only has a 'concerned right' to REQUEST information - not demand information or withhold contact. If contact is withheld it becomes a 'contravention' and the only excuse for this in a Court would be 'reasonable excuse' Would she have one?

If the child is left overnight supervised by an unknown person - then 'resonable excuse' might prevail

If there are no orders or a parenting plan then the Mother has 'carte blanche'

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Executive Member of SRL-Resources, the Family Law People on this site (look for the Avatars) Be mindful what you post in public areas. 

I am in the same position, my ex is claiming I am on illegal drugs and can only have supervised visits between the hours she nominates, I am trying to get an interim order till it gets to the federal court, however I am finding it difficuilt to represent myself. I am a Proffessional Engineer working full time and have never used drugs, but just because she says that the court automatically want to get proffesional people involved. I feel like I am on trial everytime I go to court. She took out an AVO, which I defended, it will be revoked in 2 weeks based on lack of evidence. I dont care if they want to come to my home carry out an inmspection at my work and hang around while I have my kid, I just wonder how long all this stuff takes until I can resume a "normal relationship with my kid", we adore each other but her mohters lies are just breaking both our hearts and I am missing out on these importantr years of her growing and learning.

Any ideas, I am in court this Tuesday SRL for an interim order.



Do you have any orders or a parenting plan (from the FRC) in place?

Does your profession have drug testing at work?

What has been the pattern of visits so far?

How long separated?

What court are you in?

What has been settled so far in regards to legal matters?

Please do not give away details that can identify you or your case.

Executive Member of SRL-Resources, the Family Law People on the site (Look for the Avatars).   Be mindful what you post in the public areas. 
When I appeared in court to defend the AVO in June (she took out the AVO because I called her to much she says, trying to get access to the child, apparently) she has refused mediation through the CJC, the magistrate told the police prosecutor that he is not to leave the building till we had a parenting agreement signed, his response was he was not a family court lawyer. The magistrate said the following "Sir you have brought this man to court for an AVO, he just wants to see his child, no one is leaving this court until an agreement has been reached and signed." He then said the AVO will be revoked in 6 months if the agreement is followed. I have followed the agreement regarding contacting her to see my child and it will be revoked / dismissed in 3 weeks. That agreement is now being held in the court house as part of that AVO.

Yes, my profession being largely multimillion dollar infrastructure construction has mandatory drug and alcohol testing for those we think may be effected. I have never been asked to be tested.

Visit pattern was dependant on her mood, she would arrange for me to see child then call Friday night and change her mind. Then I had my daughter for 4 weekends in a row, then no contact for 4 weekends, until I lodged Application for Final Orders, she let me see my daughter again. Every weekend but now has reniged. I attended court last week for final orders, she didnt appear but a legal aid solicitor did, and that is when the allegations first arose. It has been adjourned till this tuesday as she contested my application to enforce the existing agreement.

Seperated since july 2004, I now have a new partner of whom ex is extremely jelous.. Has sent text messages saying we should go make a new baby and I will never see her baby again. I have copy of those texts that my father has witnessed.

Coffs Harbour Local Court for interim Orders this Tuesday, Federal Court November.

This is first appilcation for final orders, I intiated them because of her unpredictable nature and wanted to have a firm agreement in place, she has reacted with very extreme allegations and demanding supervised visits at her discretion. Her intention is to keep my new partner away from our child. New partner is a financial controller / accountant for a large city council and has an enourmous amount of respect in the community. The only legal matters are explained above.

I hope this is anonymous enough. Please let me know if I there are areas that require greater discretion.

I should clarify, the agreementr was for contact every second weekend, with up to a weeks access during holidays

Last edit: by Blonk

your case

It is a bit late to help for Tuesday! Please immediately fill out the form that you were sent by us. Need more info, that you can not post here.
A bit confused by what you have posted.


Executive Member of SRL-Resources, the Family Law People on the site (Look for the Avatars).   Be mindful what you post in the public areas. 
 Just called and left a message on your mobile.


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