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Thank you so much for advice

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My Matter was adjourned - Negotiation really does give much more certainty

Thank you so much for all that have given me advice, special thanks to Verdad, Agog and Artemis

I managed, with my husbands assistance, to negotiate a much better situation for contact in the interim and these conditions were accepted by the judge even though there was no application to change the current interim orders.   I also went a long way down the road to getting a final agreement of equal shared care during these negotiations.

His honour, not sure if I am allowed to name him in this forum, was very intelligent and seemed to quickly sum up my ex and his claims.   I was very nervous but still managed OK in the end.   His honour decided to adjourn the mention for 4 months and made it very clear to me that if the matter wasnt finalised by that time that his honour would "give me my trial in quick time".   His honour was very concerned that my ex was simply stalling and all but said that he believed that an equal shared care arangement should start immediately, I am guessing in the end he erred on the side of caution but also his honour was presented an order consented to by both parties so I guess it would be difficult for him to alter that.

I am so happy for my son now, it was a great day on so many fronts.   Now it seems likely that after my ex gets an additional report done and some testing that we will have an agreement and no longer be in litigation.

Negotiation is the best way, I was always prepared to go to trial and it may end up that way but negation and agreed consent orders are definately the way to go if you can manage it.
pearlpair said
I am so happy for my son now, it was a great day on so many fronts.   Now it seems likely that after my ex gets an additional report done and some testing that we will have an agreement and no longer be in litigation.
 It is satisfying to learn that your son has had a win, if only an interim outcome. The real winners in Family Law are those whom accept that constant litigation only causes parties to pay with their minds.

The purpose of the court is to resolve that which rational people can't. So negotiations are the first station on the line, only those intent on not accepting that their behaviour is only going to keep the tensions alive and not act in the child's interests.

You can draw confidence from your own advocation. Your reported experience suggests that your matter is before a fair person.

The other party will be hopefully more respectful towards you. That will further the intersts of the child. Enjoy a moment to rejoice before returning to what you must do. Well done.

What is done for you, let it be done, what you must do, be sure you do it, as the wise person does today that what the fool will do in three days - Buddha
Thanks verdad, you are totally right.

My husband had this judge presiding over the first 4 of his hearings and tells me the same story that he was very intelligent at sorting out the facts from the haze that was presented to him.   Apparently he diciplined my husband's ex about the way she was using the children on each occasion, my husband wishes that he presided over his recent contravention hearing, things may have turned out a little different for him if he had.

I am not sure that my ex truely has the message, but I am confident that if my ex does try playing games that his honour will ensure that they are very short lived.
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