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Mobile phone query

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I have many questions to ask regarding the Court orders that have recently been put in place by the Federal Magistrates Court in regards to my 2 young sons (10yo & 2yo), but they would take up a whole page so I will break them down into 'bite-size' chunks, beginning with the one that is of the least concern to me.

Some background…My ex moved interstate with the 2 children in January this year. A recovery order was granted and they were located by the AFP 2 months later. My ex & I now have equal shared parental responsibility of the children. She has also been restrained from living more than 40 kms away from the eldest sons school. At the moment she is over 600 kms away, but she has until late January next year to make the move. There are also orders regarding visitation rights before & after she moves, plus a range of other criteria in the order. She has lodged an appeal (regarding other issues, not this) but my solicitor is not confident of it succeeding.

On their last access visit, the ex provided the 10yo with a Mobile phone. She has stated to him that I am not allowed to touch it, and that if I take it away from him she will contact the police.
One of the paragraphs of the order states that the children "communicate by telephone with the parent with whom they are not living on up to one occasion on any day provided that it is before 7.30pm, with the parent whom 'the children' are living to facilitate the call".
I have a landline & a mobile phone which has always been available for calls to be recieved on & if we are busy (at football, scouts, etc) and miss one of her calls, I always allow the boys to call her back.

She now only calls on the sons new mobile phone, and if it is not on, she will call on my mobile & tell the son to turn his phone on so she can call back on it.

Is this going against the court's ruling that "…the parent whom 'the children' are living to facilitate the call"? Also, I believe that part of the role of reponsible parenting would be to be able to check who he is recieving calls & TXT messages from at times, as she has placed numerous numbers in it, including the number of a 14yo daughter of one of her friends. My son does not really like this girl, and has told me that she smokes cigarettes & dope, and drinks alcohol with her Mothers permission. I am presuming that the ex has also given the number to various people whom she knows as well. Most of these people are not people who I have ever met.
I also believe that if the son is misbehaving, that I would be within my rights to take the phone off him for a period of time. I do it with his Playstation & Gameboy, and I really do not see any difference. Can the police charge me if I do that. His teacher does not see a problem with me doing it, but some feedback on this forum would be appreciated.
The games adults play!
The orders seem simple enough,Yes, it is against the court Orders.
Work within the boundaries and you will be fine - remember to be flexible.
Does your 10YO use the phone for any other purpose, talk to friends etc? If not i would turn the phone off, put it in a safe place until Junior goes back to mum.
Follow that with a paper trail - explain the orders and that she is bound by them.
Good Luck.

                   is this really an issue? I can't see a problem and perhaps part of the reason why the other parent is doing this is an attempt to try agitate you or to be seen as being in control. Perhaps thanking her for being so kind as to take on assisting you with facilitating the calls, could be a way to go.
'Mike T', trust me, once I ask the other questions that I need advice for, you will realise that the last thing the ex wants is to be kind.

I have been more flexible than Gumby so far to this point, but there it has reached a point where I feel that I must work totally within the boundaries set by the court. Her big problem is that she is on a journey of 'I will do as I want, not what anyone else tells me to do, because I am the Mother and you will do as I want as well!' She certainly does want to be in control, and she is pushing as many buttons as she can to try and make me react in a negative way. She is failing in that, and that is frustrating her. What she is doing with her (other) actions, however, is upsetting the 10yo to the point of tears. She is unfortunately also of the opinion that because she is the 'natural Mother' only she should have the children in her care. She has stated that to both myself & the 10yo.

'monaro', I have spoken to my son, and he has no problem with the phone going back in the packaging, as long as he can use mine for the games! All of his friends from school call him at home, or visit him.

Thanks both of you for the advice.
Hey wottheheck my eight year old was given a mobile from her mum for Christmas and although I do not agree with her having it there where no specific court orders I could use to diminish shared parental responsibility it stayed, it has in fact come in handy at times such as school holidays for that one day a week phone call for both parties.

How ever like yourself I make sure my daughter is available for home contact all other times.

Initially it was a toy for her but that soon wore off at this home anyway but at her mothers I fear it is used to the true essential of commercialism which is not a good thing.

Point being in your home you control what happens and at times this must be reiterated by actions that the kids will understand provided it appears reasonable and not petty. No need to be nasty but rather simply state fact concerning your environment and let her deal with it as she will, mind you record all information for future referral. She can't force you to do things her way but she can put pressure on and make others suffer.

Best of luck, by the way i do believe a lot of this is compromise and if she is willing to phone the mobile at the predetermine time and only at that time then there should be flexibility but we both know this isn't what it's about so keeping that agreement for her will be difficult.

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