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What are the rights of my 15 year old?

wants to live with me but mother will not allow it

My 15 yr old daughter lives with her mother, i see her every second weekend.

My ex does not negotiate.

1. Can my ex deny me providing a mobile phone? Since her older brother had moved out i have no way to contact her. I am told that if i give her a phone it is to stay at my house. Not a lot of good for the other 12 days.

2. Does she need permission to up and leave to come live with me? mother is the one  parenting orders say she lives with.

3. What will happen if she refuses to go 'home' at the end of visitation? I know i will have a visit from police within 30 mins.

4. If she tells her mother (and it will not go down well), and all hell breaks loose do we have to go thru all the mediation/court stuff at 15? 

I need to get her away from a toxic enviroment soon, and i need to know the rights and wrongs…

thankyou, oz
Are you sure that your daughter is not just saying this to get points with you? Im not saying she is a dishonest person, but kids often feel pressured into trying to keep both parents happy.

When she is with you she may say she wants to move in, when with the mother she may say she likes coming "home" after visiting dad.

It's hard for kids living in 2 households, esp when both parents dont get along. They feel like the meat in the sandwhich.

Perhaps wait until she is able to handle the fallout of her decision. You are right when you say it will not go down well with the mother, but your daughter will bear the brunt of her displeasure. Can she handle it?
Some answers:

Question 1 - Most 15 year olds have phones. In fact they use them more for internet than phone these days. If your daughter wants a phone maybe she can leave it at school in a locker than take it to her mother's house.

QU 2 - She is old enough to make her own decision with whom she lives with however whether she has the maturity to do this need to be considered including how much one parent may have an emotional hold on her.

QU 3 - If she refuses to go to her mother's house and the police arrive she only needs to tell the police she does not want to go to her mother's house. The police won't get involved.

QU 4 - Even the court cannot make a 15 year old do anything if they don't want to do it.

If she genuinely does not want to live with her mother and you can provide full time support then this is all you need to do. The other parent has little recourse. As it stands at age 14 she can leave home and claim Centrelnk benefits.
@Bdouble… thanks for the devils advocate words. I am 100% sure she is telling the truth here. Her mother is in a high control sect and the daughter is desperate to escape but her mother is a formidable person.

@fairgo. Thanks. I would like to explore this phone issue more, i do not want her to have to hide a phone. The mother looks for them. School has no lockers. I would like to know if i can provide on the basis that the mother is not allowed to restrict her and I making contact. What are my recourses if the mother confiscates it?

She has been getting stromger in her resolve every time i see her. Yes i can and would love to be able to provide for her. Glad about the police part, at least they charge me! or force her back.

Thanks, Oz
I don't think you'd have any recourse if the mother took the phone. If you took it back to court, it wouldn't look on the mothers part but at 15 your daughter can do what she likes, so no need for court.

My OH bought his 15 yo daughter and iphone, the mother used to torment the daughter by taking it off her and telling her she'd smash it. Daughter moved out and is now living with freinds during the school term, and us in the holidays, mother can't do a thing about it.
If the mother confiscates the phone I think that will hasten your daughter's departure from her mother's house.

Frenzy - I hope you are not paying child support to the mother since daughter is living with friends.
Fairgo we are going through the CS issue atm. The mother is telling CSA and the family tax office, daughter lives at home 3 days a week, not true.

The lady the daughter lives with is taking her into CL when she turns 16 next week as they said the daughter can get the FTB or youth allowance (not sure which it is at 16) paid straight to her as long as the person she is living with verify's the mother has less then 35% care. This should then adjust the mother care % for CS…we were hoping the mother would be honest but were expecting too much.
Just use Family Assistance to deal with the care calculations. Remember you can use an hours count if that accurately reflects the care time than night/days count.

Are you aware that full FTB has been extended to age 18 as of Jan this year?

The carer can also claim child support from the mother as well as you. I'm not sure if they are compelled to do so when claiming FTB.
so my ex is allowed to stop my daughter and i communicating between visits? And we can't do anything about that?

Thats wrong and broken on so many levels.
Do you have existing orders that allow for communication when not living with you?
They do not explicitly say yes or no. Not mentioned at all really. I have always been able to call them via the mother which was a real hassle, but when my son got a mobile i could call and text him and talk to them both, was never an issue. Now he has left home. My ex's attitude toward me has caused hell to freeze over and i am NOT calling her to talk to my daughter. She was recently given a phone by a friend and mother is on the hunt for it. They do not have the internet so i can't communicate that way either. So, while this sort of communication is not spelled out in the orders, it has never been an issue.

Since my son had phone and got up to mischeif, she is a ton harder on the younger one. Plus she sees the younger one 'rebelling' against the religion and sees me as the blame. I am pretty sure thats one of the reasons for the attitude to the phone. The other is to keep her away from school friends as much as possible.

I gather you are trying to tell me that unless it plainly states 'phone' in the orders i shall have no case to make her allow a phone?

I want to know where this sits by law, because if i provide a phone and its confidcated or sent back i am going to balistic, and court will be a waste of time at this stage of the game…

Surely if she has the right to tell her mother where she wants to live she has the right to tell her mother to butt out and don't touch the phone, and both should be her rights protected by law?

It's the other way around - if the orders don't mention it then it is OK.

If you give her a phone it is her property but them she is still a minor and under the parents rule until she leaves home. Given that phones are a dime a dozen, would it hurt to lose a few as this would probably hasten you daughter's departure from her mother. No need to go ballistic.
thats good to know Fairgo. maybe i will just sacrifice a few…

and no, i wont go balistic…just how i feel. I am very careful to always be the nice one out of the two of us even though that has led to me being walked over a lot in the last few years.

thanks
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