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Children want nothing to do with me

I am quite new to this, but as I have just received another letter from CSA to pay more money I really need to seek advice from anyone willing to listen.

I have been divorced now for over 5 years now and have not seen or spoke to my children (girl 15/boy13) for almost four of those years. I know that this is a long time and people will ask, 'What have you done about it?'.

I have sought an amicable resolution, sought assistance from Relationships Australia (my ex didn't want to come to the party) and I have even asked my father if he would talk to the children to see if they would want to see or talk to me.

Without getting too emotional about this, again, I wanted to know what I could do about this situation. Don't get me wrong I want to support my children even though they don't want anything to do with me (they told me in a letter - their own hand writing). My problem is I pay over $500 a fortnight and I don't get to see my children or even talk to them. Now I know that I was a good father and I never treated them wrongly so I was taken aback when I received the letter from them saying they didn't want anything to do with and to stop contacting them.

If I get a court order to see them, what do I do when they say they don't want anything to do with me?

I know the system is not perfect, but it just seems to me that everyone is put into the same basket no matter what your circumstances.

Any advice would be appreciated.
Alphonasus said
If I get a court order to see them, what do I do when they say they don't want anything to do with me?

If the children really feel that they don't want to see you then at that age then it is likely that such an opinion would be given a lot of consideration and the court may decide that contact is not appropriate.

However I would suggest that it rarely is the case that children don't want contact. Rather it is very often that the other parent has put pressure on the children to say what they have said or has or distorted the facts. Why would the children suddenly after 4 years write a letter saying this, assuming that the children haven't written in the four years? I've assumed this suddenness as it would seem a little weird that there would be written communication but not spoken.

I would suggest that you consider initiating the family law route. Arrange for mediation at an FRC (Family Relationship Centre). If the other parent doesn't co-operate you should still get a certificate that would allow you to take the matter to court. If there is any contest along the lines of the children not wishing to see you then I believe the court would seek to obtain the views of the children via a report writer, which could lead to no contact. At least you would know that it is quite likely that the wishes of the children are not to see you.
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