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Child does not want to see father due to fear

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father abused my son, now has won supervised access, child doesnt want to go

I am going through a custody fight at the moment.

My ex kept my child for over 2 months and I needed a recovery order to get him back.

When I got him back the ex accused my partner of sexually abusing my child, who is four and a half. However during child protection visits it became clear my partner had done nothing to my child and that the father had coached him.

Now there are some serious concerns that he may not have stopped at words but there is no proof. I got a silly judge who was so focused on a father's right to see their child and didnt pay attention to the part about keeping the child safe.

When I told my son he had to go see his father he begged me to not make him go.

Who do I need to take him to that will listen and think about the rights of my son to not be forced to spend time with someone who scares him so much.


Where are you up to in legal proceedings?

Has the Judge already made a decision?

Was there a family report done?
we just had a second hearing they have ordered a family report, the father had a letter stating he's gone to two sessions of counciling but didnt say what the counciling was for,  now I am being told I have to arrange a contact centre for access and allow the son to have phone contact but he doesnt want to.  The child independant lawyer was reinstated but not present at the case
How old is your son anttanlis and how long has it been since he has had contact with his father ???

One of the unfortunate facts is as parents we always worry about what may happen in the other parents environment especially if we see a dynamic or behaviour that may highlight our concerns. This may be a real concern or an exaggerated but if there is no strong evidence to support this what right does either parent have to stop the child seeing their other parent. perhaps this is what the judge is taking into consideration.

He is turned four last feb, he hasnt seen his father since the recovery order was issed which was mid June
If your child does not want to go and has difficulties during attendance at a contact centre, this will all be noted.

Unfortunately, court needs to see real evidence, rather than what a parent may know "in their bones". Even when, at a later date, that parent may have been right all along.

Another obligation court has to the child is to maintain relationships between a child and their parent.

While as unpleasant as the idea of a contact centre may be, it is a process that has to be gone through.

I appreciate this is an emotional time for your family, but you must help your child to be "ok" about this process. Talking to the contact staff, when you make the appointment may allay some of your fears.

Junior Executive of SRL-Resources

Executive Member of SRL-Resources, the Family Law People on this site (Look for the Avatars). Be mindful what you post in public areas. 
Hey anttanlis,

Your not going to want to hear some of the things that are said but it does have to be addressed for a couple of reasons, the first is if you intend to form a defence then you need to address certain questions, statements and beliefs or guides.

I've had a lot of discussions with people ( both men and women ) on both sides of this situation.

A few question that need addressing are:

" Why is a four year old fearful of his father "

" Was he fearful when he came back "

" Who advised you to stop all forms of contact "

" Did you seek a second opinion "

By the look of things your sons rights are being addressed, there are certain obligations that we as parents are responsible for in regards to the other parent, I'm not sure anyone could help you keep your child away from his father by suggesting you take him to a professional who has compromised his profession and does what you want without considering what is best for the child.

I know when a situation is adversarial it can be a win lose situation but this tactic may not be what benefits your child, you may never find what you ask for here in the real world or if you do it may not stand in court.

I understand this is a frustrating time but for your own benefit please look closely at what you are trying to achieve and think wisely.

I hope you understand this was a hard question to give positive reflection on.

All the best D4E     

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