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Changing my daughter's name

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I want her name changed, as he does not deserve to have the privilege of having her associated with him.

Hi. I am in need of help.

I will explain my situation.

My daughter is 11 and has not seen her REAL father for 10.5 years.

I have been married to another man for the past 9 years and we have 2 other children together. My 11 year old has always been known by my husband's name but not on her birth certificate; on there it is her REAL father's name.

I left him when she was 6 months old. After I left, he was involved in a car accident about 6 months later and killed a passenger in the car, because he was drunk, and went to jail for 3 years. He has been out for a long time and still I have had no contact from him to see her. He knows where all of my family live; one of them only lives 14 houses up from him, and he has never asked her anything.

I want her name changed, as he does not deserve to have the privilege of having her associated with him.

I have kept all documentation from the accident and all hospital records.

My husband is a loving father to all of my 3 children and has always treated her as his own and same with his family.

I am not sure what to do. Please advise.

Birth, Deaths & Marriages

Guest.

I would suggest that you have a look at the topic Minor Name change, this has rather remarkable similarities, just that the father has changed to be abusivse, a drunk and a criminal. i.e. the question was:
Guest said
My 11 year old daughter would like to change her surname to be that of my soon to be husband and her younger brothers and sisters. I have moved the correct forms through to her father whom she has not seen in 10 years (at his personal choice) and he has refused to sign them.
Here are some other topics that you may find helpful:

Name issues

Anyway basically the process is, contact your state's BDM and they will tell you how and if you can go about changing the name. Here's a list:

Births, Deaths & Marriages Registries

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ACT Office of Regulatory Services

The Office of Regulatory Services combines a range of registration and regulation functions including: Births, Deaths & Marriages, Parking, Fair Trading, Independent Competition and Regulatory Commission (ICRC), Rental Bonds, Land Titles, WorkCover and Business & Industry Licensing.

www.ors.act.gov.au

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Births Deaths and Marriages Registration Office (SA)

The Births, Deaths and Marriages Registration Office is responsible for maintaining registers of births, deaths, marriages, changes of name, adoption of children and reassignments of sex that occur in South Australia. They also issue certificates certifying entries in the registers and conduct civil marriage ceremonies.

www.ocba.sa.gov.au

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Northern Territory Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages

The Northern Territory Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages is responsible for recording all births, deaths, marriages and changes of names occurring in the Northern Territory.

www.nt.gov.au

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Registry of Births Deaths & Marriages (NSW)

The Registry registers New South Wales life events including births, deaths and marriages and official changes of name and sex. The Registry also provides free access to their unrestricted birth, death and marriage family history indexes.

www.bdm.nsw.gov.au

Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages (Qld)

The Queensland Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages keeps records of all births, deaths and marriages that have occurred in the State since 1 January 1890. The Registry also performs civil marriage ceremonies. Indexes of Queensland birth, death and marriage registrations are available for sale in microfiche format.

www.justice.qld.gov.au

Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages (Vic)

The Victorian Registry provides information about registering Victorian births, deaths, marriages and name changes and applying for certificates; an online index search facility for historical records; an online ordering service for historical indexes on CD-Rom or microfiche; and a search facility for popular given names.

online.justice.vic.gov.au

Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages (WA)

The Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages creates and permanently stores birth, death and marriage records for life events occurring in Western Australia and performs civil marriages in the Perth Registry office.

www.bdm.dotag.wa.gov.au

Tasmanian Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages

The Registry is responsible for maintaining registers of births, deaths, marriages, deeds of relationship and adoptions that occur in Tasmania, registering changes of name for people who were born or reside in Tasmania and registering changes of sex for people whose birth is registered in Tasmania.

www.justice.tas.gov.au

Emotional issues associated with (sur)name changes

When my husband was a child his father died.

His mother remarried a few years later and changed his (and his siblings) surname to that of the new husband.

This was done by adoption (not possible now I understand).

This has caused my husband, now in his 40s, considerable grief for many years to the point where he recently went to court to have his birth certificate, and those of his children (who also had the adoptive father's surname on their birth certificates as well), changed back to the original. This was not easily done.

The point I am making is that something that may have been done with good intentions at the time, has turned out to be an enormous burden to my husband over many many years, and he now has big relationship issues with his mother for allowing this change of identity to happen when he was a child.
you really don't need it changed on her birth certificate… better for her to know the truth up front than to hide it, because stuff like this always comes out in the end. If she wants to continue using her step-fathers name, this isn't a problem, I still use my step-fathers name. When I got my Learners permit to drive I just got a letter from my school stating the name I was 'known' as & completed a Statutory Declaration stating that I wished to be known as….. I the had photo id. Photo id along with Birth Cert & Stat Dec is enough to get other forms of Id ie… centrlink health care card, Medicare card etc. then you have enough to open bank accounts etc.  Hope this helps.
Just a questioin of two for guest. You want to change your daughter's name from her birth name to that of the man you are married to. So what happens, if in the event you and he divorce, what name will she be known by then.

You say your ex knows where your family is, but how receptive are they of him. How much time has your daughter spent with members of her father's family. Is she having regular contact with her paternal family? Or is it just you and your new husband's family?
andykay - good point - also will he be willing to pay child support for her and lose a higher percentage of his assets in the property settlement.

On that matter is her biological father paying child support?

Guest - the reason you have given for the name change is not really appropriate. You might not think the father has any privilege to be associated with your daughter, but she is approaching the age when she may want to know about her real father and her extended family, and this is her right which should be her decision when she is old enough to make it.
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