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60/40 shared care - who pays additional expenses

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Currently trying to decide whether my contribution to my ex is appropriate or in excess of where I need to be. Background is that we divorced a few years ago and since then I've paid all CSA amounts and 50% of all bills for the two children. I earn $100k and my ex earns $40k so the CSA contribution is approx $12,500 a year and I would estimate I pay around $5,000 for the other bills. I care for my children 6 nights out of 14 with holidays split 50/50 except for the Christmas break which is 4 weeks for the ex and 2 weeks for me. End up being roughly 60/40 split.

My ex has been compensated more than adequately during the property settlement and she receives a reasonable amount of child support payment. I'm therefore questioning whether it's appropriate for me to continue to service all other bills at 50%. I am considering at least lowering them to reflect my care percentage (40%). Is this fair? The expenses are mainly school expenses (non-private), sporting fees and music tuition. I've already agreed to stay at 50% for the sports and music but what is appropriate for the rest.

The reason for reviewing is that during property settlement I chose to 're-buy' the marital home and now have a mortgage upwards of $600k. My ex was compensated heavily and owes less than $50k on her house. Our living costs are vastly different and there is no argument from my ex when I confirm with her that she has greater disposable income than I do and this is primarily driven by mortgage and CSA costs.

Anyone feeel like sharing their opinion on this
Kanga said
Anyone feeel like sharing their opinion on this

If the kids live with you half the time,  and they do bar a few days,  then you pay your half the cost of everything .
that's my opinion…

Nothing i say should be taken as legal advice. I am not a Lawyer. If i help you it is of your own free choice to listen to what i say or not. I do not create documents for you. I do not represent you…. Purple Monkey Dishwasher
Child support pays for everything unless there are special circumstances in which case a parent can apply for a departure from administrative assessment (typically called a Change of Assessment). That's the official stance.

However from experience of being on both sides of the fence, Child Support is something like too high by a factor of 10 and this doesn't even take into consideration divorce settlements which do not take into consideration ongoing child support payments. There has been research undertaken that considered the disposable income of couples with and without children, the findings also concluded that Child Support is too high by a factor of 10.

I believe you that it is more than fair that you consider that you are the paying ample without pay anything other than Child Support.

However, you then run the gauntlet of the far too typical other parent poisoning the child's or children's mind or minds, with the "the other parent doesn't pay enough etc", so I'd suggest that is a factor that you should consider.

As you have greater than 35% care you should also be getting part of a Family Tax Benefits that are paid for the child or children.

Last edit: by Dev_MikeT

The Wolf said
Kanga said
Anyone feeel like sharing their opinion on this

If the kids live with you half the time,  and they do bar a few days,  then you pay your half the cost of everything .
that's my opinion…


That's exactly my issue as I know that just making CSA payments is paying not only my half but also the ex's half plus a bit left over for herself. Paying 50% of all bills on top of that essentially makes CSA feel like a donation.



Dev_MikeT said

However, you then run the gauntlet of the far too typical other parent poisoning the child's or children's mind or minds, with the "the other parent doesn't pay enough etc", so I'd suggest that is a factor that you should consider.

As you have greater than 35% care you should also be getting part of a Family Tax Benefits that are paid for the child or children.

The 'coaching' has been happening from day 1 so that is definitely in the back of my mind. I've never considered FTB as had just assumed my wage being what it is would rule me out of any of those payments.
I think MikeT was referring to the part of the FTB contribution she gets.

Basically, you are paying over what is required and if that is making everyone happy then good for you. Many are not either in the relatively good financial situation you seem to be in or are not seeing the children even though they are supposed to or there is some other problem or interaction issue.

The answer to whether you should pay 50/50 for everything over and above what was agreed and as set out, considering you are already paying $5000 above the required annual rate is a matter for you and your circumstances. It looks to me like you have no bandwidth to do what you are suggesting and pay more anyway. Your own financial situation looks tight and that needs to be considered carefully.

Last edit: by Secretary SPCA


Executive Secretary - Shared Parenting Council of Australia
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Kanga said
I've never considered FTB as had just assumed my wage being what it is would rule me out of any of those payments.

It's meant to be for the child/children and thus as they spend 35%+ time with you then it that part should follow the children. The % used to be lower if I recall correctly (I'm sure that I claimed and back claimed for the previous year but I think that was before, or around, the 2008 changes).
It appears the child support paid is really a form of spousal maintenance. Have you sought financial advice on your situation? Knowing what you and ex do for a living plus age of children would help.
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