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Some children do have them ...

My first post to this forum was back in July when my son sought and was granted an interim injunction to stop his ex partner relocating interstate with their daughter, who is under 2. Since that time I have witnessed so many selfish acts that begs to ask the question "are you doing this in the best interest of the child?"

To those who have not read my posts before I am a grandmother of a wonderful little girl I affectionately refer to here as "Little Miss" and my son is her Dad.

When the Federal Magistrate said, "you may go, but Little Miss must stay" I knew we had taken the first step on a very long journey but I never anticipated the twists and turns along the way. The court orders also granted Dad access visits every weekend. He was to collect Little Miss and Mum was to pick her up.

And then the solicitors' letter arrived stating Mum could not pick her up because she was working, so Dad did the driving both ways. Effectively he drove for 6 hours to spend four hours with his daughter because he always bought her to his home. To digress it is delightful now to hear her say as he pulls in the driveway "yay! Home" and the first thing she has to do is feed the fish.

As the weeks rolled on it became evident that Mum had moved leaving Little Miss with her parents only flying home for three days out of seven. I shall not go into detail as to how this became glaring obvious but it was confirmed when a letter from her solicitor stated she could not do any of the driving because her car is now interstate and would not give any details of exactly where she was working.

And now with a handful of weeks to go before final hearing Mum has decided she will not relocate and wants Dad to sign an agreement allowing him weekend access and one day on the alternate week. Which now because it remains unsigned Mum will not allow him an overnight stay.

I have certainly left out many details because I guess those of you that have been there are just sitting there nodding their heads having heard/seen it all before. I thank the person who suggested the "communication book" as this has helped our cause.

Dad has always had the beginnings of a warm loving relationship with his daughter and is going to any length in the best interest of Little Miss, to give her a parent 24/7 in her life.  For me, I now get hugs and she has become my shadow, which delights me no end.

Who knows how a Federal Magistrate and the court counsellor will view the last few months but I ask of you, has anyone experienced something similar? Defying a Federal Magistrate's court orders, then pretending it never happened? And are we wrong in believing this case must go back before the Court Counsellor and FM for final hearing?

To add to this post, today when we collected Little Miss when Dad phoned Mum to see if she was going to pick up the child she replied with a definite "no, because she was interstate packing to return to NSW". Dad replied "okay" and hung up. Mum rang and told him he had the paper work to sign as she has no intention of going back to court for the final hearing. So I have another question for you, does anyone know what would happen if she chooses not to face the Federal Magistrate on the days he has appointed?

I do hope I have given a clear picture although I have omitted various points in this case. Thank you in advance for taking the time to read this.

"I don't have tomorrow's grace yet, and I won't need it until tomorrow! We must not be so overly occupied with the future that we lose today. God has hidden the future, so we might trust Him. He is compassionate in doing so. Why waste the present trying to change something you cannot change?



Extract from "Deceived By God" author John S. Feinberg :thumbs:
In my opinion, but don't take that as advice without the advice of the SRL's, your son has a good chance of improving the situation by going to the final hearing rather than signing the agreement, especially if the FM will be the same one that provided the interim orders. You appear to have evidence that the mother has not met her responsibilities as she has not been caring for the child for a great and relevant proportion of the time, she has also misled you via her solicitor. Se also appears to be unable to meet agreed upon commitments by not picking up the child as she agreed. I've personally not really experienced contraventions on this scale, only minor ones which were agreed to, even if only to not rock the boat, so I can't provide any experience with regard to handling consistent contraventions.

Perhaps your son needs to be considering being the primary carer and determining what access the mother should have and putting a workable plan based upon this to the FM at the final hearing. That would appear to be what would be in the best interest of Little Miss.
When I read your post yesterday Wendy I did have a rye smile on my face and thought " goodie "

I am how ever a little confused about where the contravention is.

Although there will be a tendency to be misled by the importance of minor points it's important to stay focused on the issues and refer to minor issues to establish commitment issues.

Compile your facts and evidence, refrain from hearsay where possible unless backed up by evidence and stay focused on the goal.

She can chose not to attend court on that date and it will be better for your sons case, he does not have any paperwork to sign and her intentions are not his concern.

You may have to look outside the box to establish if she has defied orders or has misinterpreted the orders, she may in fact have carried out the orders depending on what exactly they say, if it's about moving interstate and her address is still at her parent but she was interstate then she has not moved, if she has left the child with her maternal grandparents whilst there when the child is in her care and the child is well catered for I'd suggest this wouldn't be a breach either.

Stick to the game plan and stay focused  use information and situations to advantage.

Just an opinion and I ere to MikeT's suggestion of an SLR-R giving their opinion.

All best though sounds good D4E
Building a case is done brick by brick. You have some excellent bricks there, but not enough to make a wall…yet.

I do not believe the mother has breached orders. Although, as D4E says, one has to know the exact wording, which would not appropriately be posted here.

You will probably need to go to another interim hearing, have a family report done and then finals. There may be more interim hearings as well, if you chose to bring contraventions when the mother contravenes.

If the mother chooses not to "show up" the hearing will either be postponed or go ahead. It will depend on the excuse and how many times the mother has done this. Court seem to accept a few "dog ate my homework" excuses before they get firm with people. Solicitors also have interesting ways of postponing things.

If you feel you are getting good outcomes going through the court process, continue. I'm presuming the "papers" the mum wants dad to sign are consent orders? He does not have to sign anything, unless they are very close to what he is asking. It does not sound like they are.

Dad should considering writing to Mum's legal team that as she is interstate, Dad would prefer to hand over the child when Mum is actually in the state - rather than to mum's parents.

Sounds like dad's case for being primary carer is growing. Keep a chart about how much time the child actually spends with both parents and the grandparents with mum absent. It might make for interesting annexure to an affidavit.

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Executive Member of SRL-Resources, the Family Law People on this site (Look for the Avatars). Be mindful what you post in public areas. 
Thank you for your responses to our plight and all input to the situation.

Without using the exact wording Mum could go, Little Miss was to stay and leaving her with the grandparents was not an option.

Mum has dictated every visit to skirt around her movements rather than adhering to what was put in place by the FM and Dad has complied so he could see his little girl.

It is hard to know what to say in this forum that does not overstep the boundary. If I can use one example of what excuse was used as to why the Mum could not collect her child I do so now. Due to working on this date Dad will have to do all the driving and on investigation it is proven the place of work is not open on a Sunday and has not been for four years.

Yes, Dad is sticking to the facts as we know the FM we face for final hearing will only accept prima facie as evident in the first time in his court and subpoenas have been issued.

One brick at a time is exactly right. I used the term we are working on a jigsaw puzzle and some of the pieces just dont fit. I do hope I am able to continue to share our journey with this forum as we have gathered so much and inspired by others.

"I don't have tomorrow's grace yet, and I won't need it until tomorrow! We must not be so overly occupied with the future that we lose today. God has hidden the future, so we might trust Him. He is compassionate in doing so. Why waste the present trying to change something you cannot change?



Extract from "Deceived By God" author John S. Feinberg :thumbs:
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