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Presence & Use of Alcohol

I am sorry that I am not able to help you with the forms you need but I want to wish you all the best.

My thoughts are with you and the children.

"When we long for life without difficulties, remind us that oaks grow strong in contrary winds and diamonds are made under pressure"
annamat said
We have had a major issue over the weekend. Due to fear of the kids safety we did not return the children as their mother arrived to collect them whilst severally intoxicated. we have 50/50 care at the moment.

She has had a history of drinking and court order counselling to fix this. We have final orders in the place have been advised that we need to attend feg mag court on Tuesday morning and request an urgent "stay" of the orders. after 5 yrs in court and in excess of 100k in legal fees we can no longer afford a soil. I know this is going to be tough but we want to have the paperwork completed and ready for filing first thing Tuesday.

Can some one please help me try and find the correct forms to complete? We want to request that the kids stay with us in the interim and the mother undergo urgent alcohol testing and counselling.
 
Is this a moral judgement or a safety concern, or even just a good chance to get even? Have the children come to any harm while in her care? If she was driving the car then fair enough, but otherwise, in the absence of other factors…
I've been quite drunk at times when my kids were in my care, but the children were never at risk. I'm sure the same could be said for others. I'm not saying this is a good thing,but it happens. On the other hand, during the worst of the Court process, the ex tried a couple of times to hold the children when I turned up to collect them, claiming that she "smelt beer on his breath". Of course, she wasn't really concerned about the beer on my breath since she never got close enough to smell it;she knows I often have a stubby after work and she was simply playing silly power games. Are you sure you aren't doing similar?

Would it be more useful to sit down across the table from each other and discuss the issue instead of running off to accrue yet more court time?

Last edit: by Craigo

Craigo - I would have to say that seeing as there are previous court orders regarding this persons alcohol consumption that this is a safety concern.

It concerns me that as the sole responsible parent when you are caring for your children you have put yourself in a position of being "quite drunk". What would you do if one of the children needed to go to the ED? How would you get them there? How can you be certain that the children are safe and secure whilst youa re drunk? We are not allowed to drive when drunk, we hould not be allowed to be carers whilst drunk either. And, how can you confidently state that you know exactly what your ex was doing when she stated that "she spelt beer on your breath", did you ask her?

"When we long for life without difficulties, remind us that oaks grow strong in contrary winds and diamonds are made under pressure"
Gecko said
Craigo - I would have to say that seeing as there are previous court orders regarding this persons alcohol consumption that this is a safety concern.

It concerns me that as the sole responsible parent when you are caring for your children you have put yourself in a position of being "quite drunk". What would you do if one of the children needed to go to the ED? How would you get them there? How can you be certain that the children are safe and secure whilst youa re drunk? We are not allowed to drive when drunk, we hould not be allowed to be carers whilst drunk either. And, how can you confidently state that you know exactly what your ex was doing when she stated that "she spelt beer on your breath", did you ask her?
 
LOL, all the assumptions under the sun. What on Earth makes you think that drinking can't be done in an environment that is safe, or that I would place my kids at risk in order to indulge myself?

As for my ex, it's a bit hard to smell anyone's breath when they're inside a car at all times and you never go outside your house gate. Seriously, this level of discussion is silly.

The point is that it is easy to accuse someone of being drunk without examining any other circumstances. It's easy to make assumptions about the way in which people may behave in certain circumstances.The Court orders are probably Consent Orders, which are nothing much more than a letter of intent, possibly obtained under some form of duress. Trying to make someone stop doing something perfectly legal is controlling behaviour.  In some cases it may be regarded as violence.

None of that changes my original point, which is that the OP's partner and his ex and possibly the OP as well and any other parties, such a a new partner for the ex,might usefully sit down and discuss the issue, rather than immediately jumping to the most convenient excuse to go to court.

It sounds as though the moral high ground is being sought while the kids just want to see their Mum.
Believe me, I know the OP's circumstances quite well and the BM does have major issues with alcohol abuse, including driving with the kids in the car, whilst significantly over the legal limit.

Please don't go jumping to conclusions Craigo, it helps no-one!
smurfergirl said
Believe me, I know the OP's circumstances quite well and the BM does have major issues with alcohol abuse, including driving with the kids in the car, whilst significantly over the legal limit.

Please don't go jumping to conclusions Craigo, it helps no-one!
 
As I said, if she turned up drunk behind the wheel that's a different story. I wouldn't allow my kids in a car with a drunk person either. However, what I was trying to get to is how you proceed. Do you start yet another obviously less that successful Court round, or do you try to come to some understanding? Going to Court rarely ends up with the best possible outcome. Is the idea to prevent Mum from having any contact at all, or is there an intent to compromise?

Anyway, it's the OP's problem, but as one who's spent more time than I'd like in the FCA and FMC I'd advise you to find a way around it.
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