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i just tonight came home to see my pregnant girlfriend packing her stuff up. we only just moved into a new house..thats a totally dif
we have been on the rocks since it really settled in, she became very abusive and degraded me she also  said that the baby hates me and i will never see my child nor be on the birth cert. i am 24 educated , level headed and have a job i have a heavy speeding fine and a non recorded conviction for drugs when i was 16/17 stupid and young. we live with my house mate so i know its not me, but that is not what she makes out. at the start, i Was not all for it because things were not stable enough to bring a child into our lives, low and behold. she insisted on keeping it for personal reasons; after this decision i became involved because i want this kid to have a father if its going to be in this world, lord knows i needed mine.  she is 19 and 10 weeks into it. thing have gotten messy really quick, i have tried everything to work it out with her, no go. But with every ounce in my body i still want to be and believe i will be a good father, i have support of my mother. do i have to get to legal aid first? can she stop me from being on the BC? does she legally have to sign a stat dec say she "" does not know the father"". due to things not working between us for what ever reasons she is doing all this as a attack at me, not taking the third life into this. i know she is full of hormones and younger, so rash is not of the moment.
what can i do?? as i i know and believe i will be important and a good influence in my child's life. i dont want to be unprepared for the worst cause thats wat im feeling right now.
 thank you so much.
Dear flippin.birdz

First, take a big deep breath - as hard as it is, you need to keep a clear head and a controlled manner.

Also this is a public forum - Google (bless her robotic heart) loves to rank the forum and it's threads and posts VERY highly. Do not reveal to much on here.

Legal Aid - yep it's basically the first person who gets there and qualifies. Ring them today and book an appointment.

Did your girlfriend move in before or after she became pregnant?

Birth Cert - she can elect not to put you on it, but there are legal steps you can take to ensure you are named as the baby's legal father.

As you said, she is young and her hormones are going crazy. Begin a diary NOW of what has happened and is happening.

Also, keep telling her (nicely of course) that you intend to be a part of your child's life, even in you are not a part of hers. You are BOTH to be parents, not just her, and you have a legal right to be involved in the care of your child.

There are others who are much more qualified to give advice on here than me, but I had to respond. I know people who have been in the same situation.

Even if she does not want to continue your relationship you need to find a way to be supportive of her through the pregnancy and then work together as co-parents for many years to come.

Good luck, mate and I hope to hear how this goes for you.


"Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it."
Bill Cosby
Some good advise, except for the legal aid.
Both parties can obtain legal aid funding.
Perhaps some mediation?

thanks, for the heads up. i would like some more info on the more steps to getting on the BC
It is very hard to get yourself onto the birth certificate. The best way would be to mediate with the mother. Perhaps having a chat with her and her parents if you feel this would be helpful.

While it is illegal not to notify the registrar (Births deaths and marriages) who the father is, it is very, very easy to lie about this and then get centrelink. Many states have a penalty for this.

I would give Relationships Australia a call. They can be helpful to talk about all the changes that are happening to you (becoming a Dad when separated) and can help with mediation. Sometimes, getting in to a room for a chat with a third party can solve a lot of problems.

Junior Executive of SRL-Resources

Executive Member of SRL-Resources, the Family Law People on this site (Look for the Avatars). Be mindful what you post in public areas. 
Registering the birth of your Baby phamplet (extract) by Hume Riverina Community Legal Service said
What if the father wont sign?

If you know the identity of your baby's biological father, you should name him on the Birth Registration Statement even if he will not sign it.

If this happens a father is not named on the Birth Certificate, but his name may be kept on file at the Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages in some States.

If only one parent has signed the Birth Registration Statement, he or she must attach a letter to the Registrar explaining why the other
parent has not signed.

Here's a link to the brochure Registering the birth of your Baby phamplet by Hume Riverina Community Legal Servic

I'd suggest that the other parent would be unwise to not name the other parent, it would then be very unlikely that child support could be enforced. Perhaps an agreement would be made to pay CS cash in hand, however if evidence of such transactions were obtained, then this could result in the recipient being prosecuted for fraud because FTB payments would not be adjusted to account for the CS received. Such evidence could possibly be used to persuade a court that a DNA test should be conducted in the best interest of the child, to know and be cared for by the child's  parents.
I think the previous replies have covered everything.

I knew someone in the opposite situation to yourself i.e. the father left just after the mother became pregnant, wanted nothing to do with the pregnancy and by the time the baby arrived the mother was unsure of his where abouts.  He was named on the registration.

As far as I'm aware in regards to name registration, the laws regarding the name itself work differently from State to State e.g. to the best of my knowledge NSW have a first in best dressed policy where the child is registered in the name of the first registration it receives (very difficult if you have not been made aware of the birth) and Vic has a dispute resolution process where regardless of registration receipt time, a name dispute will result in a hyphenated surname (in alphabetical order) and an allocated first name by the Registry itself.  The process of naming the other parent on the birth certificate and two signatures remains uniform between the States as far as I'm aware.

Like already mentioned where one parent has not signed the birth registration a letter of explanation must be attached and yes, of course she could lie and leave your name off completely.  However I believe the registry expect this information confirmed in a Stat Dec and will also endeavour to contact the mother (usually by telephone) to reconfirm this story.  If she does name you on there but does not supply any contact details for yourself then the same "letter/Stat Dec" is required but also they might ask her if she has details for your parents etc so maybe they can contact you through another avenue.  If no other means to contact the father are available and if the registry are satisfied then your name will be added to their records but not show on the Birth Certificate itself.  If you were Married and living together (I think maybe defacto and living together for over 2 years also?) then I believe that like with CS then a presumption of parentage applies, otherwise a DNA test may be required to satisfy the registry of your parentage (also difficult if you are not made aware of the birth).

Also like already mentioned leaving your name off the registration will bring her undone if she lodges a CS claim for the child i.e. how on earth could the mother possibly know of your where abouts for CS but not for the birth registration?  I believe too that in the "pack" you receive at the hospital when you have the baby, it tells you the things you should do straight away including Birth registration, contacting Centrelink and contacting CS.  Centrelink require that you register with CS within 60 days of the birth to avoid overpayment etc.

Anyway I do wish you the best of luck with this, hopefully some form of Dispute Resolution might be able to solve some of these problems and like also said, even if the mother and yourself cannot live together or get along your issues with each other should never play a part in your baby's right to share a relationship with you both.  There are a lot of people who are very knowledgeable out there or who have been in a similar kind of situation who can help you with some solid advice so just keep positive.

Good Luck! :)

"Never, "for the sake of peace and quiet," deny your own experience or convictions". Dag Hammarskjold
I needed help with my case and couldn't afford a lawyer and found these guys invaluable
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