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grandmother advice please

My son and his girlfriend separated when child was 7 weeks old. Child now 11 months. Only contact for son has been at a supervised contact centre and at interim hearing last week that continued as the judge was worried about an injury to the child that occurred at separation which was accidental, but mother says on purpose.

Final hearing still somewhere in the future. Listed for late October, but will probably not go ahead then if mother still refusing to talk, mediate or having had attended counselling with father.

My question is should I as a grandmother make an application in the case or should I leave it to my son alone. I have been allowed to be part of supervised visits, but at interim hearing Judge reduced me ( and my sons girlfriend and 3 year old son ) to being able to attend only once a month and no others allowed at all. Due to my explosive personality my son would prefer not to have me attend again and to go to final with him alone having attended the contact centre. If time became unsupervised he would welcome me along. I do not know if time will ever become unsupervised or stay that way for a very long time

Also the Judge said if communication does not occur between the parents then councilling will need to occur. How do you make this happen especially when the same Judge limited communication between the parties. I am trying to have mediation with the mother and am due to do an intake appointment next week. I just want my granddaughter to know her other' family. To date I have not been able to communicate with the mother at all due to her refusal to answer phone or email. Email is now banned by Judge and I am not sure about phone calls as my son has not seen the decision in writing.

A family report is to be done and I am worried about this as child does not know father or me and cries all the time (almost) when we see her. The family report is to be done in 2 separate locations with the 2 parents, Newcastle and Sydney and I do not understand how this is possible. Also the mother is at court by telephone and the judge is allowing this all the way including final hearing.

Any suggestions to help appreciated.
Hi Kalimnadancer

A tough one for you!  Your relationship with your grandchild is independent of your son's relationship with his child.  It would be helpful I feel to express interest by putting in an application in a case that you want your grandchild to know you and to be able to develop a relationship with you. This is separate and apart from your son's relationship with his child.  With your grandchild being only 11 months old, time with you is restricted for now, but that should change.  Not knowing the details surrounding the supervised contact, I doubt the supervised contact will linger on as it is not an ideal situation in most cases.  Re communication between the parties, if this does not improve try seeking an order for counselling from the Judge. Regarding your granddaughter crying when she sees you and her father hopefully the family report writer will factor in the age of your grandchild and the circumstances in the formulation of their report, and make recommendations in the best interests of your granddaughter which hopefully will include to know and spend time with her father, grandmother and extended family.

Good luck.  I wish you well.

First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.  M K Gandhi
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