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Getting rid of old consent orders

I have consent orders dated 2005, i have tried to change them in the way of solicitor then at the family relationships centre through mediation, which resulted in nothing and a letter stating we attended but couldnt make parenting plan. From what i have been told, my next option is to go to court and spend a great deal of money.

Are there any other options out there to completly get rid of existing orders?

The current orders are old and not relevant, but as they are the only orders in place, and as out dated and completely of no benefit to the child, they have to be followed. Even though the child has no contact with the other parent for over a year now and is 14 years old and can make up their own mind when they want contact. The last contact the child had with the other parent was over a year ago and the child ran away after being intimidated by the contact parent, after that visit the child voiced directly to the parent that they didnt want contact ever with them. Letters were exchanged between solicitors and it had been agreed that as the child voiced that they didnt want contact with the parent that contact didnt have to take place until the child was comfortable to begin it again, but some of the points in the existing orders were to be kept, eg addresses updated, access to school reports.

Why should the parent who is intimidating the child, telling the child that they know everything they do when they arnt in contact, that people are watching them and the childs family members and passing information on about what they do, to feel that at school that they cant be comfortable because the parent is getting any information regarding their schooling sent to them, why should they be able to use the existing old orders to control the child, even though there is no contact made.

Yes they had a child, but that doesnt make them a parent. ( :o do i hear you gasp at such a comment)

Wheres the parenting in intimidation. Wheres the parenting in manipulating a child and playing games with them emotionally. I, as a parent tried to do the right thing and encourage contact in the past, even though i could see to some extent the controlling manner of the other parent, not only towards the child but through the child to myself, i thought contact was of benefit to the child, the consent orders were made to try and keep the contact,( the intimidation and controlling issues werent as bad when orders had been made) but the other parent asked for less and got it. Sometimes contact isnt of benefit, not always should the mother, or the father have contact with their children. Just because no physical abuse is seen or made, doesnt mean that emotional abuse isnt happening just because you cant see it like a bruise.

My child is 14 years old and has certain emotional issues that i believe are a result of years of emotional abuse. The law is set  up in a way that it gives the rights to the non residing parent, but depending on the age of the child, the courts will disregard their views, and even now if my childs views were heard, it will still be in the non residing parents favour as they are the "parent" and should have contact. It will then be a case of he said she said. This is my own opinion and experience of the family law. No, not all are in the same boat as i am, no, not every situation is the same. No im not screaming 'why me why me', i just want something done about it now that will benefit my child who wants nothing more to do with the other parent.
And my childs point of view has not been encouraged in any way by my view of the other parent as many would say, and i hear it all the time that one parent puts down the other to the child and then the child forms a distorted view of the other parent that is being denigrated. Im sure that it does happen, but not every child that doesnt want contact with a parent is because the residing parent has put them down to the child. My situation was that if i didnt have anything nice to say about the other, i didnt say it. If i was to put down the parent to the child, then i would be putting down the child aswell and that wasnt right.

Lastly, can a child change their last name if they do so in writing giving their consent, or does the other parent need to also give their consent? Can a child be known as whatever name they want to be known as at school, but aslong as it doesnt include any documents such as medicare card, learners drivers licence etc?
A child can not change their name until aged 18 and then it is up to them by depoll. A parent can ask the court for a name change, but usually this ends in a duel last name.
Why do you want to change orders if the other party is not having contact anyway. Maybe the choice should remain in existance, as a court would need to feel there is a threat to totally remove a parent, as I believe you are suggesting this is what you would like to do.
Court action is costly and time consuming.
Hi leosign,

The court system does recognise mental and emotional abuse, though you are correct it is harder to prove. The court system also does agree with you that, in certain situations , just because someone had a child that does not necessarily make them a fit parent, there are many recent judgements that attest to that sad but true fact.

Is your child receiving counselling?

 From your post I think it would be very beneficial , my children have been helped enormously from it. You can go to your G.P and get a      " Better Outcomes To Mental Health- APPTS referral form" , this provides free access to a psychologist from a list in your local area ,free to "youth" OR "financially disadvantaged".

 It would help your son, and if it was needed in any court proceedings that may take place in the future you could subpoena the records and it would not be "he said , she said" as the psychologist would also be able to comment on the emotional abuse and how that is having a detrimental effect on the child.

(I read a case where the evidence from a psychologist was disallowed as only one parent engaged him, and told "their side of the story" to the psychologist and it was ruled his evidence could be biased and thus inadmissible, but then a single expert witness was appointed to do a report, so either way the child's opinions were heard by the court.)

Only you can decide if the expense and mental and emotional drain of taking this back to court is worth the potential benefits.

I wish you all the best for you and your child.
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