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Final hearing for Little Miss & Dad

I shall begin with an apology for not reporting back on Monday/Tuesday as final hearing was taking place. I felt Monday evening I had nothing to share and by Tuesday evening I was mentally exhausted. In hindsight I should have posted on Monday night so anyone that is embarking on this journey and reads this will know what possibly may happen.

After successfully getting an injunction in July stopping Mum moving Little Miss interstate and being granted a final hearing this week, the evidence mounted that Mum had indeed moved leaving Little Miss with Mum's parents. After subpoenas revealed the truth Mum decided to move back to this state a few weeks short of final hearing. By this time Dad chose to seek residence. And the list goes on.

An interview with the Family Court Writer {FCW} and the ensuing report was quite honestly a farce. She referred to Mum relocating to a particular location; the actual location was over a four hundred kilometres further on. She suggested Dad do a "Hey Dad" course without asking him if he had. He completed this course in 2003. If you are a Mum I hope you get this lady, Heaven help you if you are a Dad.

Although the orders had been contravened we knew final hearing was not going to be easy. I'd like to ad here, if you are reading this trying to gather as much information from this site, as I have done, then I have no need to apologise for being so long winded. To those further advanced and had already foreseen the outcome I offer a weak smile.

Before the court Monday were ten cases only three of which were final hearings so we were told we might not 'get on". Later in the day reduced to two, one very complex case and us. The Federal Magistrate {FM} basically instructed both parties to sought it out based on the FCW report. The rest of the afternoon was spent trying to reach a compromise, extending to Tuesday.

Returning to court Tuesday the other case still had priority and the FM allocated fifteen minutes because Mum & Dad had a few points the could not agree on.

The bottom line is Dad has finally got his overnight visits each alternate weekend and one day on the off week. I understand this to be "standard" and prepared to be corrected. The FM acknowledged he understood why Dad applied for residence and commended him for being willing to compromise. He asked Dad not to leave the court feeling unjust, as he had not gone unheard. The disappointing part was the one-day in the off week granted Dad has to collect and return. These one-day amounts to loss of a day's wage, a tank of fuel to cover the six-hour round trip and road tolls.

We had the best of the best all round, except for the FCW {said with a wry smile} and this is the outcome. Dad will be the first to tell you "Little Miss isn't about to live 1,800 kms away, and she won't be this young forever." Little Miss turns two in December and our journey continues.

I know I've been long winded and the moderators have my blessing to cut n snip at will but allow me to say this please. As a grandmother to Little Miss and Dad is my son I have found this site/forum not only a wealth of information but also a comfort knowing we were never alone. And the support is a Godsend. I thank you but warn you I intend to stick around.

May your God always watch over you and yours.

"I don't have tomorrow's grace yet, and I won't need it until tomorrow! We must not be so overly occupied with the future that we lose today. God has hidden the future, so we might trust Him. He is compassionate in doing so. Why waste the present trying to change something you cannot change?



Extract from "Deceived By God" author John S. Feinberg :thumbs:
I'm heavy of heart knowing the problems from travelling distance, it does no justice to your sons efforts and show no common sense or compassion.

I'm glad you get that time with your granddaughter and I am sure your relationship will blossom and she will be well loved and she will love the extra time and sleep overs.

Take time to rest and support each other, when I had completion from the stress of everything there was a hole there for a while that hung like a stone around my neck yet my outcome was very good in regards to care, when everything ended it was a big anti-climax.

Best wishes D4E
Not the best of outcomes.

There is always the possibility that more ground can be gained when there are further contraventions. I think there will be.

Unfortunately, father's are often assumed to have more resources in travelling and other matters.
We have suffered this same bias and it cripples one financially.

Junior Executive of SRL-Resources

Executive Member of SRL-Resources, the Family Law People on this site (Look for the Avatars). Be mindful what you post in public areas. 
I am surprised to hear that the FM in your case entertained such an order for transport.

I would be interested to know who the family consultant was(whisper please), coincidently the consultant in my case recommend something similar.

The statement the FM made "Do not leave the court feeling unjust" can be understood, the paramount issue here was covered "little miss stays", you need to understand the role of the courts is to provide a meaningful not optimal relationship.

"He has not gone unheard" may suggest to  the mother 'Do not contravene'.

Except for the hick-up with transport arrangements, the outcome is fair,

Take care.

 :dry: Thank you D4E for your comments and support. The alternative weekday will create a burden but one Dad shall overcome just like every other obstacle placed before him. And I totally agree with you about the emotions felt at conclusion.

At the risk of over stepping boundaries and making my reply sound like a chat forum rather than the source of valuable information I would like to share what happened on Saturday, Dads 1st time with Little Miss since final hearing on Tuesday. It will show others that scour this site as I did and continue to do what can happen even after a FM puts orders in place.

A prearranged meeting place, which was clarified repeatedly, was set for 8am Saturday and at 8.15am Dad received a call from Mum questioning his whereabouts. He was in the designated location but as Mum went on to say, she had driven half way and he had 5 minutes to reach the place she chose or she was leaving. Even with the use of excessive speed Dad would never had made it but he set off anyway. On arrival she had left. A follow up phone call from Mum had her abusing him {chorused by her mother} saying he had to travel the extra hour to collect Little Miss. He opted out resulting in both missing out on a childrens Christmas party.

Yes, Artemis we have only just begun.


"I don't have tomorrow's grace yet, and I won't need it until tomorrow! We must not be so overly occupied with the future that we lose today. God has hidden the future, so we might trust Him. He is compassionate in doing so. Why waste the present trying to change something you cannot change?



Extract from "Deceived By God" author John S. Feinberg :thumbs:
Unfortunately, repeated contraventions being brought are the only way some people learn.

Personally, we have to start court action (for the most basic things) to be actioned.

Make sure you clearly document that you have made reasonable approaches, in such things as negotiating the pick-up location.

The mother's refusal to negotiate appropriate pick up could be used, in contravention, to steer orders toward pickup by the parent who's "spends time with" it is. This is fair, but often left out as a consideration when one party cries poor.

Junior Executive of SRL-Resources

Executive Member of SRL-Resources, the Family Law People on this site (Look for the Avatars). Be mindful what you post in public areas. 
We had to do this in the first place,,pickups were done by the person who is spending time with them because otherwise we had the mother refusing to come pick up the child until her lawyer notified her that this is a contravention

Rarghhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!

Han Solo routine "We're all fine here, thanks. How are you?" *weapons fire* "It was a boring conversation anyway!"
The orders state Dad is to pick up and Mum to collect. In the above mentioned Mum was doing Dad a favour by meeting half way. It all went wrong went she found she was running late for work and chose a different location and did not allow Dad enough time to reach the same.

We would be quite happy if she chose not to collect Little Miss. :wub:



"I don't have tomorrow's grace yet, and I won't need it until tomorrow! We must not be so overly occupied with the future that we lose today. God has hidden the future, so we might trust Him. He is compassionate in doing so. Why waste the present trying to change something you cannot change?



Extract from "Deceived By God" author John S. Feinberg :thumbs:
Wendy it could be considered a soft breach if the child is not at the location that the court has determine to be the pick up point, doing him a favour or lying about even being there is a debatable issue. The child needs to be in the location of pick up and the mother has an obligation to wait there for a reasonable amount of time, whether she is late for work or not she should be waiting. If this has caused little miss to miss out time with her father it is a breach.

She does not have the option of choosing a different location and it could be dangerous to agree to such changes, just be aware it may cause problems and diminish consistency for little miss.

All best D4E
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