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Apologies to those of you offended by my 'shouting'.  I didnt not mean to cause offence.  I was typing one handed with a baby on my knee… nothing more…

So, to start again!

Hi, I am new here.  I am Bec, British and living in NSW.  I have 3 kids (5, 19mth 7 mth) and have number 4 on the way.  My 1st (now 5) is from my previous marriage .  I used to live in the UK with his fatherbut I left him 3 yrs ago.  We have a change of jurisdiction order allowing us to live in Australia.  He agreed to sign this in exchange for my giving him 100% of our family home.

Since moving here, his father hasnt seen him, and contact has been 1 x 5 min call (at best) once a week, and that has only been in place since the CSA caught up with him.  He shows no interesti in school or health etc.  It appears he is going through the motions with this 'relationship' andhas made it clear that he is not willing to mach any real effort at all.

He has since remarried and moved from the UK to the USA so the terms of our CofJ are no longer valid, being a UK/Australia arrangement….

My ex husband has refused to sign visa paperwork that permits my son and I to relocate to Singapore for my husbands work.  I have previously asked for Sole PR to avoid us having to go through an expensive process each time we need to move (hmy husband owrks internationally) but he refuses that too.  He claims that I will take our son to unsafe places, and he 'needs' to approve the destination first.

I would llike to apply for sole PR, I know he will object to the application and I am worried that this will not only be a costly excercise, but potentially unsuccessful because he does pay child support.

Has anyone done this before and been successful?  What were your peronsonal circumstance and what was the Judge looking for in terms of the existing relationship between the other parent and child ?  How much did it cost? What advice do you have for me?

I want to do this, but we cant afford an open ended legal battle, and my ex is the sort who will fight just because he knows it will run up my costs, but I am desperate to sever this control…. he wants it for no otehr reason than power - he has no interest in my son….

Any suggestions please?



Last edit: by BEC.HINE

I don't think Sole PR will cover what you're after.

You would need to seek Legal Advice on how to proceed with the Application with the Court I would imagine.

Thing is, I have already sought legal advice, and was told to apply to the Courts for sole PR but were advised to leave it upto 3 yrs before doing so.  It cost us $2K just to get that advice….

I have been told by the CSA that from their experience, purely because he is paying child support the courts wont permit me to have sole PR but I struggle to understand how this would be the case given that he, by his own choice, has nothing to do with the day to day decisions.  And it was the same when we were together too.  He has only been calling weekly since a) the CSA caught up with him and b) since he moved in with his new wife…..

So when it comes to needing a signaturefrom him, I beleive he only says no because he can.

I would happily forfeit CSA payments in exchange fo having him out of our life (ie my husband adopting my son!) but I dont think thats an option.

Does anyone have any other ideas?


Last edit: by BEC.HINE

Well I'm basing this on the fact that with Sole PR you can't unilaterally apply for a Children's passport on your own you still need the Father's permission. Relocation and Travel with a Child is a pretty major thing and Sole PR generally just means that you can choose schools, religion, medical treatment and the like for the Child.. day to day stuff.

That's why I think it's wise to speak to an Accredited Family Lawyer and ask what the process is given that the Father is overseas anyway, you may have some luck!
Interesting… I was advised that with Sole PR I can a) apply for the visas for relocations and b) change my sons last name once we've been resident in NSW for 3 yrs which therefore would allow me to apply for his Australian passport when we get our citizenship WITHOUT his involvement…. ???!!!

Whats more frustrating is that I do all of this stuff with b*gger all input from said father anyway…..!

Oh pants! Sounds like a right mess :(
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