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Child Support Information please

Thursday the 22nd of january all my dreams came true when i was granted 50/50 week about care of my girls with my ex husband. In the orders it states that the girls will reside with me from friday after school til the following friday when i drop them off

Hello last thursday the 22nd of january all my dreams came true when i was granted 50/50 week about care of my girls with my ex husband. In the orders it states that the girls will reside with me from friday after school til the following friday when i drop them off at school then with their dad from friday after school till the following friday. It also states that both my ex and i will have 50/50 equal shared parental responsibility of the girls. The very next day my ex called me and said that as of now im on my own, he has to pay child support so he will not be paying for anything else for the girls and that it is solely my responsibility to pay for all school books, fees unifors school shoes, braces if they need them anything at all. Is this correct? I always thought that 50/50 would mean that each parent was responsible for paying for half of all costs incurred in the up bringing. I have school uniforms for my house and he is now saying i need to buy uniforms for his house or send home the uniforms on fidays. Can someone please help me
By your former husband paying child support, is he not therefore subsidising the cost of schooling?

I'm in a similar situation where the mother wants me to pay half of the pre-school fees - in addition to child support payments - which I will probably do - as it was my suggestion. However, it raises the question - what are the child support payments being used for? Is she using them to cover her own personal expenses? Who knows?

Perhaps you need mediation to help you reach an agreement.

He obviously has the weekend to launder the school uniforms ready for school on monday.

4MYDAUGHTER
Up until the new changes in child support it was I who paid him as the care rate was him 79% me 21%, i paid child support and i still paid for half of all their expenses, I would of thought in a 50/50 situation that no parent would have to pay the other parent child support since there both parents have the same amount of care.

School uniforms bother me because he expects me kids who are 13 and 10 to take all there uniforms home with them on a friday to have at his house i belive it would be easier on  the children if he just bought his own.

Does anyone know if paying child support means that you don't pay for anything else?
As far as i have been "advised" unless it is in the court orders the child support is to help supplement the costs relating to the child.
With regards to the uniform we use one set, works fine and if ex wanted his own he would have to pay for it, I'm not his bank LOL.
You shouldn't have to pay for another uniform unless ordered.
Erm, sorry to make this sound simple but, If he is dropping her off one week, surely they will be in a uniform…. so just buy one more and then you will always have one at home…. If you have the first days at school, then buy two… send them in one, and they will come back to you in one… If they have the first days at school with him… then they will come to you in a uniform… its pretty simple

Dont get sucked into games, just buy what you need.. and if thats two… then be the better person and buy a spare, one will always be at yours….

hope this makes sense

They must find it difficult, those who have taken authority as the truth, rather than truth as the authority

This is a very hard situation on one hand care itself is considered as providing support so yes at 50/50 one would think that no CS should be payable, on the other part of CS is about better balancing standard of living between households and it is this factor that results in a parent paying when you would think that they shouldn't in the 50/50 scenario.

Personally I would do one of two things. If CS payments are the issue, then I'd look toward removing that issue by electing to end CS. In fact I've done this relatively recently when I became the "Lives with parent" from being the "spends time with parent" and thus the CS recipient in theory as opposed to the payer. The only expectation I had was that the other parent covers the cost of flights and even then I assisted the other parent in booking the 1 set of flights that have happened at that was at a very reasonable price.

The other option, would be to use the CS collected to pay for the extra uniforms and not let the issue be an issue, however I could understand that one could consider this giving in and perhaps setting the path for further disputes.

There is also the conflict aspect to consider. Due to a report issued just under a year ago, cautioning about how "high conflict" and shared parenting don't go along. Conflict could undo 50/50 (note I and many others believe there needs to be far greater caution about the caution itself, as there are serious flaws in report, comparisons only made against children in intact families, very small sample and for a minuscule timeframe, no consideration of alternatives). However some have jumped to adopt this report (one could liken it's adoption to the adoption of other things such as anal dilation, a test that was readily adopted and then shown to cause greater damage than the sexual abuse being tested for). Anyway high conflict could, in the current climate, be argued as a reason to move away from shared care.

Another consideration is as to how the children will be affected, will ensuing arguments lead to a change to a primary/secondary carer situation? How would the children see this. Could the children see such a move as being unfair and see what may well be a win for them taken away?

Perhaps some could see the attitude of saying "as I brought them, then the unifroms are mine and thus the other parent can't use them" as wrong. I do. What does such a stance instill in the children? Are they not the children's uniforms (or shouldn't they perhaps see that)? Is such a strategy perhaps pushing the children to adopt a non-cooperative attitude?

Did you really consider 50/50 your dream or perhaps were you/do you consider that you deserve more? Could this be driving retaliation?

Could it be that the other parent considers the reduction to 50/50 as a loss and that driving retaliation from his side?

There are many potential facets to this issue, I doubt that I have come close to naming anything like half of them, even a tenth. Perhaps you could use the assistance of someone distanced from the situation who could explore the complete dynamics of the situation, which could lead to a solution that is a win win situation (well actually a win/win/win/win/win situation you, the other parent, the two children and also society itself).

The last point, raising the issue on here needs to be commended as it's along the lines of getting that external view on the matter.
Denny

From your post it would appear that the other parent feels a little aggrieved at a Court ordering 50/50 which means there needs to be a settling down time for both of you.

MikeT said
Perhaps you could use the assistance of someone distanced from the situation who could explore the complete dynamics of the situation, which could lead to a solution that is a win win situation (well actually a win/win/win/win/win situation you, the other parent, the two children and also society itself).

Which is an excellent suggestion.

You should also look up posts by 'Sage' (a professional mediator) on ways of both coping with and defusing potential conflicts.




Executive Member of SRL-Resources, the Family Law People on this site (look for the Avatars) Be mindful what you post in public areas. 
Thankyou all for the information you have given, today i have contacted cs and i have been informed that unless there is a court order in place stateing that both my ex and i will pay for half of everything he has to pay cs and that is it i have to pay for everything else.

I don't have a problem with this it just really bugs me that in the past i have paid cs and half of the girls costs, my ex doesn't want to make our agreement as he says that will work out more expensive for him in the future than just paying $120 per month.

I think cs needs to llok more carefully at diffrent situation, i don't understand why when we both have equal time with the girls taht on of us is expected to pay the other, i am studying so i dont have an income but my current partner does and his income alone is double that of my ex's yet my ex has to pay, i dont think it's fair.

Thankyou all again.:)
Denny79 said
Thankyou all for the information you have given, today i have contacted cs and i have been informed that unless there is a court order in place stateing that both my ex and i will pay for half of everything he has to pay cs and that is it i have to pay for everything else.
 
Denny79, if that is what the CSA said, then I believe that you have been mis-informed. There is no legal requirement for parents to apply for CS and there is also a means, as I have done, to elect to end CS. If FTB-A is above the base rate, then the Secretary of FaHCSIA has to approve an election to end. The CSA Guide, section 2.10.2, explains this in more detail.

Here's a link to this section of the guide

In addition there are two types of agreement that can be entered into Limited and Binding. Limited require that the CS amount be as much or more than a notional assessment (i.e. an assessment done but not applied), this is to meet the FTB criteria. Binding have no monetary restrictions they do need both parties to confirm that they have sought legal advice.
Here's a link to this section of the guide.


Court orders can say very much what they say and thus could override CS.  Basically Family Law legislation has a greater precedence than CS legislation and this greater power of the Family Law Legislation is referred to in the CS legislation.

As you both have 50% then you are also both entitled to claim your portion of the FTB, perhaps this fact could be used as a sweetener (if it applies).
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