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Changing court orders

In 2007 court orders were made. Basically my sons father had access every Wed night and every 2nd weekend. During 2008 my circumstances changed and I on a number of occassions appproach my childs father about allowing me to move 2hrs away and to change the orders. He basically said nothing and I even have in writing asking for his permission with no reposnse. In Jan 2009 I moved and agreement was made that he would have our son 3 nights a fortnight every 2nd weekend and I also said I would travel 3/4 of the way to change over. This agreement has been running with no problems. On occasssion our son does not want to go to his Dads but is still made to, even tho his father in the period in between refuses to call to speak with our child. He is 4 and loves to chat. Our son comes home and often starts to tell me what a bad mum i am and what a joke i am and other stuff that a 4yr old does not come up with on there own. When asked about this "thats what Daddy tell me and tells me bad things about me to".

In our orders which we stick to for everything else we can take block periods allowing my to take his weekend off him. Recently in doing so his father did not see our child for almost 4 weeks, he did not ring nothing not even on Easter Sunday. I have repeatedly told him he can ring anytime and not once has he ever done so. At changeover after no contact for this amount of time our child did not want to go to his Dads he was very upset and as I tried to calm down our son my ex became very aggressive towards me. I put our son back into my car as now he was shaking and extremely upset. My son repeatly saying to his Dad Ill come next time Daddy next time. I tried to reason with his dad and this turned into an alercation in which he pushed me grabbed my wrist and now very sore and leaving marks on my arm. All in front of our son.

Where do i stand If i want to get the orders varied we had a verbal agreement about the change, and he tells me if we go to court he will say he never did agree to it.

15 months of contact different from the court orders, he doesnt ring his son in between contact, I travell 3/4 of the way to ensure contact, and for over years has never paid cs on time and is always in arrears yet I have never stopped contact.
Child support and time spent with a child should not go together according to the child support agency. Just look how many pay child support and never see their child.

Time to see a parent is good, but a parent can not be forced to use the time unfortunately.
red said
 In our orders which we stick to for everything else we can take block periods allowing my to take his weekend off him. Recently in doing so his father did not see our child for almost 4 weeks, he did not ring nothing not even on Easter Sunday.
Hi red,

I don't really understand what you mean here.  Do you mean that the Court Orders allow both parents at various times to have the child for a "block period" such as a holiday period?

In relation to the child being upset after not seeing his father for a month I would expect that at 4 years of age that this would not be unusual.  Also, and not to downplay anything that transpired between you and your ex during that changeover (I am a firm believer that reason never excuses) but there is also a possibility that your ex might have been a little upset with having not seen his son for that period time and as such having you "linger" in an attempt to console the child as opposed to a quick changeover, then making a decision which would cause the father not to see the child for an even longer period of time might have contributed to the fathers actions.  Just a possibility!!

In relation to telephone contact I wouldn't worry about it too much at this time, by what you have written it seems the father is (or has…have you stopped all contact since this time?) been having physical contact which is far more important.  If it is concerning you however, perhaps you could help the child call his father as opposed to waiting for the father to call him.

You ask the question of where you stand in having the Orders varied.  What exactly is it that you want varied? 

Cheers

"Never, "for the sake of peace and quiet," deny your own experience or convictions". Dag Hammarskjold
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