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WHY? Contact after 18 months.

Mum has child and Dad not interested. My daughter has just gone through a harrowing time with the FRC (Family relationship center) Child Support payments now make the father interested in contact after 18 months.

My daughter has just gone through a harrowing time with the FRC (Family relationship center)

My grand daughters father, requested that the FRC start the process for shared care.

Dad has had phone number and her address always. Grand daughter turned 5 last week, no contact at all for 18 months. Mum initiated visits and contacts prior. FRC talked about Dad having the child for weeks at a time plus Xmas and birthdays, and warned that daughter could be jailed if she didn't abide by the decisions made.

After 6 months of worry we approached him and asked why. He would like to see her once in a while,fine all worked out. Next asked to discuss matter further the real reason is he and new wife want all proceedings dropped through CSA. He has paid 4x payments of $9.25 over 5 years. He has now dropped FRC awaiting decision on dropping of CSA.

How do you stop someone using FRC for monetary gain. It's certainly not for the benefit of the child, we wish it was

Last edit: by Secretary SPCA

Justme.  Even if your ex-son in law doesn't see his child at all he will still be liable for the full rate of child support if your daughter wants to ask for it, or is required to ask for it because she is receiving a single parent's pension.

Subject to the above, your daughter could immediately put in a claim for the child support, as any further delay in taking action would reduce the amount ultimately recoverable.

Access is (see above) a separate issue.  Presumably the arrangement already agreed on is acceptable to both sides, so there should be no question of anyone being "gaoled".

If the ex takes an unreasonable attitude (like proposing no payment of child support when your daughter really needs it), "dropping the FRC" is not going to help his case in any referral to a court.
Ifapolad
Thanks for the reply. Daughter never married or lived with childs father.Not that this makes a lot of difference to the fact child is entitled to know her her Dad. FRC is there mainly for seperated families, We found they would not listen when we explained about the money side, they were not interested in our explanations of the why's and whynots.
My daughter can't cancell CSA due to parenting paymant.
LifeInsight said
"FRC talked about Dad having the child for weeks at a time plus Xmas and birthdays, and warned that daughter could be jailed if she didn't abide by the decisions made".

I was of the understanding that the FRC was only a Mediation service? Making parenting decisions and threats does not count as mediation.
The FRC is definitely a "mediation" and "Advisory" center. We have had a number of recent cases where the Mediator has well overstepped the mark. We have had the reverse at one center where a loving and caring dad wanted more time only to be told that this was not a good idea and not recommended. They quoted all sorts of rubbished reports and falsities.

The daughter in this case does not have to agree to anything. The father in the case appears to want some minimal contact initially but because CSA are now pressing for funds (because benefits are involved) now wants to exercise equal or substantially equal contact. That type of contact after such a long time would need to be made in a graduated way I would have thought as the child would hardly know the father. (The fathers doing). The motivation for contact here appears to be motivated through the forced payment of monies which is what the new legislation intended.

The fact is that the child is entitled to know and be cared for by both parents. Hard as it is in your situation that is what all of the reform groups have been arguing for over many years. The presumption of equal time parenting is definitely in the legislation s 65DAA depending on a range of circumstances.

The FRC has one key function and that is to try and work out an agreement. Failing that agreement the process is to attend through the court system. An expensive and relatively slow process at best. Continue the Mediation and see what can be worked out. The collection of funds through CSA can be avoided via private treaty agreement but the CSA will require some collection for benefit payments. You should discuss your payment options with CSA officers and find out what the minimum payment is that would be allowed under private treaty. Bearing in mind any money paid would be for the benefit of the child I would have thought so to reduce it is probably not in the child's interests.

Executive Secretary - Shared Parenting Council of Australia
 Was my post helpful? If so, please let others know about the FamilyLawWebGuide whenever you see the opportunity
 
Thank you for your advice. The dad and his wife have suggested a private agreement as well but what hope does my daughter if CSA can't get more than $9.25 per month? Its the arrears that they want my daughter to get CSA to withdraw.
It's amazing what money can be hidden when you own your own business.
But again the only person who is missing out is my granddaughter.
There are several issues here and by the sounds you have been expressing your case more emotionally than practically in regards to Law.

C.S.A. will be separate the contact issues from payment issues.

By the sounds he is paying the required amount through his taxation statements. I know what you mean about hiding income never the less C.S.A. will go off income tax statements unless there is a review form filed (Change of Assesment application) etc.

Was an application for review made ?? has your daughter stirred up C.S.A. about his false income claims ?? did his application in the courts come after an application to C.S.A. made ???

Don't get me wrong I'm in the same position and only basically survive on a pension and half the FTB A&B 50/50 with my daughter. My X also hides income as does her partner to reduce C.S.A. and it is frustrating but in my case being male I seem to have to supply evidence of this occurring not just ring and make a complaint. But I have to make the best of it.

As far as the Legal system is concerned both mum and dad have a right to see their children and in some cases it's hard fought to achieve this right.

Who are they and what stage is the case up to if any, have you seen a mediator or are your opinions from other sources ??????

Last edit: by Secretary SPCA

D4E said
My X also hides income as does her partner to reduce C.S.A. and it is frustrating but in my case being male I seem to have to supply evidence of this occurring not just ring and make a complaint. But I have to make the best of it.
 
I think that is the same for anyone - I am definatly NOT male and my ex is also hiding money, working cash in hand etc and claiming CSA off me, yet there is nothing CSA can or will do regarding this without proof - and I certainly have rung and made complaints to no avail.

Like stated though CS and visitation rights are NOT linked, also CSA can waive debts at their discretion. I would suggest that your daughter not participate in any attempts by the other party to discuss CS but to refer him to take it up with CSA directly. She can also speak to a centrelink social worker to discuss the threats regarding collection and the undue pressure it is placing on her. It maybe an idea to take up the issue with an ombudsman or other body (others here will know the correct procedure)regarding the FRC attitude.

When you are swimming down a creek and an eel bites your cheek, that's a Moray.
Thanks Jadzia for your comments. CSA have found evidence and that is why they are being dragged before the Federal Court. We do not know what they know, sounds silly doesn't it. I appreciate the feedback we are being given and I am trying to learn as much as I can on this site.
I apologize if I  came across a bit emotional at the beginning, but I believe anyone dealing with children and not knowing the laws should be allowed a little slack.
All comments and suggestions are being taken into consideration.
So once again thankyou to everyone who has answered us
It's hard NOT to sound emotional when the first reaction to anything that comes up is that gut wrenching twist in the chest followed by all the emotional responses under the sun. It takes a bit of effort to work past that and respond in a rational, business like manner.

It is HARD to detach and make decisions based on what is right not on what our entire psych is telling us to do.

I think that one of the benefits of this forum - others can take that step back and pull our emotions into line. Invaluable assistance to say the least.

When you are swimming down a creek and an eel bites your cheek, that's a Moray.
I appologise for my bad ( lack of )  hair moment, many out there suffer the same procedure be them male, female.

The personal gripe I have is with an X who reduces C.S.A. but does not buy basic clothing needs, yet every time my daughter goes back there is an expensive surprise.

I survive on a pension and half FTB A&B the minimal C.S.A. that is received directly benefits my child clothing or sundries she needs.

It is off topic and I apologize.

The evasion is done within the law by tax declaration.
 
After reading so many things on this site, I have come to a conclusion there is something really missing these days. Common decency. Fairness whether it be male or female.
Kids are not money making machines, but gee we all know or have read of people using them for this.
My grand daughter has the right to 2 parents but she also has the right to be fed, clothed and educated.
I can't remember the last time my daughter had time out, she believes that is taking money from kids. I can't remember the last time she could afford to buy new underwear but I can remember when the kids had new stuff.
When someone also has a low self worth they allow themselves to become victims.
We need to make sure all kids, whether in a single family unit, normal faily unit (unusual these days) or extended family unit all be given an equal chance in life.
I doubt that everyone will agree with my views but gee it would be nice that everyone did put the kids 1st.
Refer to my post above D4E - emotions play a big part in what people experience and how they react. At least you are willing to agree that your outlook is coloured by your negative experience at the hands of a person of the opposite gender (hows that for political correctness  :P ) and recognise that it isn't necessarily the same experience for everyone.

I don't think it was too far off topic in that justme asked
How do you stop someone using FRC for monetary gain. It's certainly not for the benefit of the child
and the same question could be asked of ANY of the systems in place supposedly to benefit the child, yet often is used to the detriment.

When you are swimming down a creek and an eel bites your cheek, that's a Moray.
Jadzia said
It's hard NOT to sound emotional when the first reaction to anything that comes up is that gut wrenching twist in the chest followed by all the emotional responses under the sun. It takes a bit of effort to work past that and respond in a rational, business like manner.

It is HARD to detach and make decisions based on what is right not on what our entire psych is telling us to do.

I think that one of the benefits of this forum - others can take that step back and pull our emotions into line. Invaluable assistance to say the least.
 
Thanks Jadzia, I totally agree.

I started another topic on extension of time to lodge objections for just that reason. Having been very stressed by endless objections, I definitely reacted as you describe when I found out how readily an objection is accepted outside the objection period.  It seems to me it is just not possible to have any peace of mind when endless objections can be accepted at any time.

Nobody has responded, so hopefully this has not happened to anyone else, but you are also right that invaluable assistance can be found here.  I wish I had found this site sooner!

(D4E - Sorry, this time I was the one to take it off track!)



Gee I should appologize to everyone on this site for rambling, so LifeInsight thanks for your comments.
I have discussed so many things with my daughter on this site. One thing in particular struck me, no Mum or Dad should be soley reliant for finances on the other party.
My grand daughter needs financial support, if her father isn't prepared to do that then we will.
I just wish I was in a position where money wasn't an issue, but we will manage with what we have.
We have for the the last 5 years, so not much difference there. I think the thing that concerned me the most was the threat of shared custody when the father and the new wife do not want that. They will insist on that if CSA continue with the courts though.
We are the one's who have initiated contact and visits.
We hope that her father will continue and accept these visits. When he is informed that due to my daughter receiving parenting payment, we have been advised by CSA and Centrelink that they believe that my daughter will be financially penalised if she doesn't allow the procedures by CSA to continue.
We can just wait and see what will happen next.
You do have to remember justme that pensions and allowances are there as a basic support mechanism for living, the family tax benefits A&B also add into this. It's not a lot but you can survive on it fi you have a need to.
There is also reduced payments for this that and the other. If your daughter lives with in her means she can survive.
Too often these days we are use to buying what we need when we want it, smoking, drinking, fast food and mobile phones and lets not forget broadband. Simply put we waist money and then plead poor rather than lucky.

making the declarations and all may make no difference to CSA your daughter receives, as I said before my X legally reduces her income and the only thing that will show she is not is an audit so for all intensive purposes she is doing nothing wrong.

Shared time is not a given so even if it does make it to mediation and so on and so forth there are no guarantees that your grand daughter will be shared care and time.

It will of course be in your granddaughters best interest that she knows her father even if there are warts.

 
 Im guilty!! I do smoke and I do pay for broadband.You are quite correct in saying my daughter is able to receive the basic support payments.  My point is she is better off supporting herself through employment as in the longterm she will be the sole provider. She may need to retrain and study but luckily the options are available to her.
We want the luxuries, we want to go to the zoo, we want the best for my grandchildren in education so that they can be better than I was. Hopefully we will achieve that
You sound like a nice person Justme and your daughter and granddaughter are lucky to have you.
Try not to worry too much about things.
My comments were not actually aimed toward yourself Justme, more in relevance that sometimes the advantage of extra money through child support is not available and there is no choice but to alter how we live.

I do not know if you receive benefits or what the situation is but I do know that between the allowances that the government do pay it is possible to survive, and you are right it is surviving.

Some of the mothers I know are better off separated than they ever were with their previous partners and they are quick to voice this.

Others have to seek part time work just to make ends meet and do some fun things with the kids.

You are a great support to your daughter that is not in doubt but you can only work with what you have and I wish you luck with that, I guess what I'm also trying to say is don't pin your hopes on increased C.S.A. it might not happen.
Thanks D4E appreciate your comments, What I was trying to say is we need to rely on ourselves.
We would never pin our hopes on CSA. As my daughter has never dated since this relationship finished, she certainly is not in the market for someone else to support her.Not that the father of her child supported her at any time in the past.
That is why I said make the best of what we have, and don't rely on others. Hope that made sense.
Secretary SPCA said
Can you give me the post ID number. I did a search on all posts in the last 30 days done by you and in date order and the date you indicated I think was the 13th May. I could not find the post. I wanted to send it to the CSA to get a quantatative answer for you. (Used the forum search function)
 
Thanks Secretary SPCA.

The post number is 10327.

I have have had a lot of correspondence already with CSA in Tasmania about this.

They are adament that an extension can be given when there is no valid reason for the delay.

I would love to hear what your contacts have to say.

Let me know if you need more details of why I think what I think and what I have done to try to resolve this.

Thanks heaps.

katie


10327



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